Don't Walk Away
by starsnuffers
Summary: Let’s play a game,' I say, laying back down, 'called "whose life sucks the most." I’ll win. I always win.'” Naitlyn. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue **

So there's this saying.

"Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you'll have good luck."

But what about when you find a baby in a dumpster?

"Find a baby in a dumpster, rescue it, all day long…?"

What comes next?

Hell if I know.

_Don't Walk Away…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

Bad day at school. We took a math test and I failed. I really wish that I were better at math. I also failed my science test. Really, who in the real world needs to know how photosynthesis works?

I sure don't.

Right as the bell rings, I hop up out of my seat and get out of that math room as fast as I possibly can. I go to my locker after stopping to say bye to my friend, Caitlyn, and shove all my binders in there and grab my backpack.

I stand up and put on my winter coat, then sling my backpack over my right shoulder. I leave the school and head down the snowy path to my house.

Thank Buddha tomorrow is Friday. I so need a nice weekend off.

When I get home, I see Shane sitting at our table eating toast. He looks up at me and then looks down at his plate, which is covered in breadcrumbs.

No hello?

"Uhh… Hey," I say awkwardly.

Shane looks up at me, and without one word, puts his plane in the sink and leaves the house.

Right when he closes the door, Jason comes down the stairs.

"Have you noticed that Shane has been acting really strange these past few weeks?" I ask my eldest brother, letting my backpack slide down my arm and hit the floor with a thud.

Jason grabs a cup from the cupboard and fills it up with some orange juice. "Yeah," he says, drawing his attention away from the juice and on me. "It's the weirdest thing. He used to be so hyper and fun… now he's so quiet and phlegmatic."

"What's wrong with him?" I ask, worriedly.

Shane suddenly turned like this. One day he was jumping on the trampoline, and the next he was in his room, blaring disgusting emo music.

"Maybe it's a phase," Jason says. "Hey, why don't you stalk his Facebook or ask his friends? Can you find out some way? This is so strange."

"I'll be the best stalker I can be," I say with a hint of amusement in my voice.

Jason lets out a huff of laugher and goes back up to his room.

Hmm… Let's brainstorm a list of ideas why Shane would be acting like this.

He's PMSing

He killed someone

He's pregnant

Uhh…

He's PMSing.

Satisfied with my diagnosis, I head upstairs and so my homework.

Ha!

Homework… that's a good one.

X X X

I go downstairs and see my mom in the living room doing yoga along with one of those silly yoga videos. "Hey, Mom."

She jumps in surprise and turns around. "What do you want?" she asks, going back into her meditative position. "I'm yoga-ing."

"Have you noticed your son's behavior lately?" I ask.

"Oh you mean Jason always coming downstairs with a smirk on his face… Yeah, honey, please don't do that," she says and goes into another position.

"No, not Jason. Shane."

Mom goes into a position that looks very uncomfortable. "Uh… you mean how he's been so quiet?"

"Yeah."

"It's a phase, sweetie."

"But it's really strange… And we haven't seen Mitchie in a while either."

"Maybe they broke up. Maybe that's why," Mom says, going back into the meditative position.

"I don't think they broke up," I say. "I would know if they broke up. He still texts her every day."

"Well," Mom says in between her deep-breathing exercises, "if you're so worried, just ask him. Good lord. Now leave me alone; I can not do this with all of your bad energy."

I roll my eyes and head upstairs. I knock on Shane's door.

He cracks open his door and sticks his head out. "What do you want?"

"Uh… can I talk to you?" I ask, hesitating slightly, hearing the loud emo music in the background.

"Why?" he asks very rude like.

"Since when do we ask 'why' when we want to talk to each other?" I ask, appalled that he would be so rude to me. "You're my brother, that's why."

Shane looks at me and shuts the door in my face.

I bang on the door. "Shane! Open the door!"

He responds by turning up the volume on his music.

I sigh and stand there for a second, wondering what to do.

I kick his door really hard and then realize that his bathroom's lock is broken, so I go through that door and go into his room.

"What the hell?" he yells.

I look around his room and see him in the corner of his room, sitting on his bed, facing the wall.

"Shane?" I ask, nearing the bed.

"Go away!" he calls.

I ignore him. "What are you doing?"

He shakes his head and stays turned away from me.

"Shane, what are you doing?" I ask a little louder.

Shane holds up his middle finger to me. But then I see something on his arm. So I grab his arm and turn it around. It was blood.

"Ow!" Shane cries when I touch his cuts. He turns to me, his eyes red like he'd been crying. "I said to go away! Get the fuck away from me! I don't want to talk to you right now!"

I back up, startled. "Shane… what the…?"

He stands up and pushes me out of his room, barricading his broken door with his body.

I try to get back in, but he's stronger than me, so I give up.

I look at my hands and there is blood smeared on them.

That's fucking nasty.

I wash my hands off in my sink and then go into Jason's room. Unlike Shane, his door is unlocked and I go in there. He looks up at me and greets me with a warm smile. "Hey."

Only I frown, and so does he.

"What?" he asks.

"Shane's like really depressed," I say.

"I know you're worried about him not talking to you, but he's not-"

I cut him off. "He cut himself."

Jason freezes and pauses before saying, "Really?"

I nod. "I got blood on my hand to prove it."

My brother stands up. "He's in his room?" I nod, so he leaves his room and goes to Shane's door, knocking gently on it. "Shane? Can I come in?"

"Fuck off, Jason!" Shane yells over the music.

Jason frowns. "Shane, don't you dare swear at me!"

"I can say whatever the fuck I want! I'm sixteen!"

"Yes, well I'm eighteen, which means I'm an adult. So open this door."

"You're not Dad!" he calls.

Jason and I flinch.

"Well," Jason continues, "you're not a five year old, so open the door before I break it down."

We get no reply.

"Get me the saw," Jason says.

"We have a saw?" I ask.

He kicks me lightly

I get it. "Yeah… that one. I'll go get it."

"Good," Jason says loudly. "Now I can break Shane's door and he won't ever get a new one."

"Oh, so you mean he'll have no door for forever?" I ask loudly.

"Yeah. That's exactly what I mean."

"SHUT UP!" Shane practically screams. "There is no goddamn saw!"

Ooh, he's angry _and _smart.

Jason starts kicking the door. "Shane Adam Gray, you open this door right now!"

"Or what?" Shane asks.

"Or I'll beat your ass!" Jason yells.

I gasp. Jason swearing? How absurd!

Jason shoots me a glance.

I point to the bathroom door and Jason opens it with as much force as he had in him. Only too bad for Jason because Shane wasn't even blocking the door, so the door broke the little thing that makes a farting noise when you hit it, and the doorknob makes a hole in the bathroom wall.

Wow.

Jason ignores the hole he put in the wall and goes into Shane's room.

I watch this all from the safety of the bathroom.

Jason grabs the knife Shane had in his hand and throws it across the room. Shane then starts screaming, crying, and punching Jason at the same time, but since Jason is so much stronger than he is, nothing really bad happens to Jason.

Shane gives up when Jason doesn't get hurt at all.

Maybe all of those years of hockey were useful after all.

Should I have played hockey? Maybe then I wouldn't have the upper-arm strength of a kitten.

Jason starts yelling at Shane and Shane yells right back. I have no idea what they're talking about but I hear Shane scream.

"Get the fuck away from me! Why don't you just fuck off and die! Why don't you have to be such an asshole?! Huh? Fuck you! You stupid fucking bastard, do you want to know what it feels like? Huh? Well get ready to die, you fucker! Fuck you!" Shane yells and attempts to hit Jason.

Oh good lord. This is very 'G' rated, eh?

Jason looks over at me, a pissed off expression on his face when Shane just repeatedly hits him on the arm, still swearing at him.

Jason sighs and turns back to him and screams as loud as he can, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHANE!"

Shane flinches. I flinch.

The room gets silent except for the music in the background.

Jason gives Shane one of his famous stare-downs. "Shane, I hope you do realize that I can break every bone in your body. Don't you even dare fuck with me!"

Shane suddenly switches from angry teenager to scared puppy.

Jason's serious. He's done it before, and he can sure as hell do it again. He even got kicked out of hockey for being too violent. But then he changed into a harmless flower, so it's all good.

"Now if you would calmly tell me why you decided to go all emo on our asses, that would be much appreciated," Jason says, calmly.

Shane then bursts out in tears.

Well then.

X X X

An hour later and we haven't accomplished much. Shane really hasn't said anything. He just kinda… softly cried every time Jason asked him something.

"Why did you cut yourself?"

Sob… sniff…

"Why do you never talk anymore?"

Sniff… wipe away tears…

"Do we need to go to therapy?"

Shakes head… sniffs some more…

Jason eventually gave up when he realized that Shane wasn't going to talk to either of us, and because it was late, we decided to sleep on it.

When I wake the next morning, I knock on Shane's door.

To my surprise, he opens it, but he looks really upset.

"Hi, Shane, are you coming to school today?" I ask. "Cause I need a ride. It's cold."

Shane shakes his head, "I'm gonna skip today," and walks out of his room and downstairs. He then walks out the front door.

I sigh. I hate walking to school in the snow.

Jason already left for work, and there's no point in asking Mom to take me.

As if she'd take me anywhere.

It seems like all she's done since Dad died was do yoga. Like she almost doesn't even care about us anymore.

I get ready for school and then head out the front door.

It's cold. Like freakishly cold.

I readjust my scarf and walk. It's snowing right now, and the tip of my nose is starting to get really, really cold. I bet I look like Rudolf right now.

I trudge through the snow – damn snow plow thing hasn't come yet – and as I walk, a car splashes really cold water on me. I gasp and flick off the car.

It turned out to be my worst enemy, Tess Tyler, and she pulled up next to me and stuck her tongue out at me. I throw some snow at her, but she had already rolled up her window and drove off. It's not fair that she can drive and I can't.

I head on again and when I catch fair sight of my school, I look at my watch. Shit, I'm going to be so late. Ms. Tranny is going to have my head!

I pick up my pace, but then get so winded that I slow down.

I go through the back entrance of the school, but when I pass the dumpsters, I hear something or someone crying.

I stop dead in my tracks and look around.

Where did that come from?

When the crying doesn't stop, I begin getting worried.

Was it a baby? As in a real baby?

I look around and try my best to hear where it was coming from. I wind up right next to the dumpster.

This is when I flip a shit.

I flip the cover off of the dumpster and the crying is less muffled. I climb up on a box and look inside the giant trash collector.

Much to my horror, when I look inside, there's a newborn baby in there.

My heart beats faster and I look around.

No one's around.

I quickly grab the baby. She's so cold. I take off my jacket and wrap it around the baby girl, trying to get her warm.

I frantically look around. "Help! Help!" I call out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

I start breathing really heavily. No one is here, which is odd because I'm at a school. Well, in a dumpster, but it's still school nonetheless.

I just think of what my dad used to always tell me: Stay calm.

The best thing to do in a bad situation is to just stay calm and relaxed.

Okay well too bad I've already shat a brick.

I quickly hop down as fast as I can with the baby and it wails. I look down at her. She's so cute and innocent. "Don't be frightened, little one," I say to it as I run as fast as I can through the parking lot. "You're going to be okay."

You know, I've never understood why pregnant chicks always talk to their stomachs as if someone could hear them. But holding this baby made me feel that way. It's so weird, holding such a small, fragile living human in your hands.

I've already decided that I'd be a good pregnant person.

Anyway, I continue running, and luckily, the local hospital is next to the school.

I quickly race in there – after all, this is a life or death situation – and out of breath, say, "Please, someone help me."

I guess a few people heard me, because they come up to me, and one of them takes the baby out of my hands. He brings her over somewhere else and people crowd around her.

Shocked and dazed, one of the nurses – probably a receptionist – comes up to me. "Sir?"

I get out of my daze and look up at her. "Is the baby gonna be alright?"

"Whose is it?" she asks.

"I-I don't know," I stammer. "I found her in a dumpster behind my school."

The nurse frowns. "Okay, stay here; I'll be right back."

A couple moments later she comes back with some police people. They start talking to me and ask questions like, "Where?"

"Behind Westwood High."

"Whose is it?"

"I don't know."

"How long was it in there?"

"I don't know."

I'm pretty useless because I don't really know anything.

After a few more interrogations, they finally tell me I can go back home. I start to head off but then I turn around and say, "What's gonna happen?"

The nurse looked at me confused.

"What's going to happen… with the baby?"

"We'll try to find out who the mother was and get to the bottom of it."

"Well is the baby okay?"

"We don't know that yet."

"Well can you tell me when we're out of the woods, so to speak?"

The lady looks confused.

"Can you inform me when the baby's better?" I ask again, like she's mentally incapable of comprehending English.

"Umm… I guess. You might have to wait here a while."

I shrug. "Fine by me. I can wait." I take a seat in the waiting room and pick up one of the magazines, skimming through it.

I guess the nurse can't leave me alone, because she sits down in the chair next to me and stares intently.

I glance at her over the top of the magazine. "Yes?"

She slinks back a bit. "You're interesting," she says.

"Umm… thanks?" Creeper.

"No, don't take it the wrong way. It's just so odd…"

"What's odd?"

"You. You seem to care so much."

"I'm a caring person."

"No, but most good Samaritans would just drop the baby off and then get back to their normal lives… but you… you're staying."

"Because… I care about it. I care about the whole deal."

She pauses for a second. "You're a great kid."

"Thanks…" I say awkwardly, pretending to be engaged in the magazine. Only too bad for me the article I'm reading is about tampons or some shit like that, so I turn the page.

"I wish my son were as good of a kid as you are," she says, sighing.

I stare at her for a moment and then toss the magazine on the table, resting my feet on it. "So why do you care so much?" I ask.

"Care about what?"

"Me. Why do you care so much about what I do?"

"Because I find it odd."

"A lot of things are odd."

"It's different."

"A lot of things are different."

"Well you're like the only fourteen-year-old guy that cares so much about anything."

"I've heard that before."

"That you care?"

"Yeah. You told me that like thirty seconds ago."

The nurse stays quiet for about five minutes, and I put up the magazine again.

"I just really want to know," she says, standing up.

"I really want to know why you care so much as to why I care so much."

"You're confusing."

"Or is it you that's confusing?" I ask, raising my eyebrows for emphasis.

"Is it because this is a really, really good excuse for skipping school?"

"School has nothing to do with it."

She smiles. "You're such a great kid. Really. I'll keep you posted." She walks away.

Awkward.

I unzip my backpack and take out the book I'm supposed to read for English class. I might as well get my homework done while I'm waiting.

Alrighty… Chapter one…

Oh, screw it. I have too much to worry about other than… "A Separate Peace."

I throw the book down into my backpack and take out my writing spiral. I sit there and stare at the empty page before me, red pen in hand, and then write.

_"Ahem… Dear Douche bag,_

_Thank you so much for throwing your kid into a dumpster behind my school. It was so pleasant finding a defenseless, small child shivering in the cold. I hope you rot in hell, asshole. _

_Love,_

_Nate Gray."_

Well, that's not one of my most pleasant pieces of work, but what can I say?

Right before I put my spiral back in my backpack, I hear the nurse say, "Hey."

I turn around and close my journal, facing her.

"Uh… We're out of the woods," she says, quite unsure of what to say.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Well that's good. That's really good."

She half-smiles. "We'll keep the baby for a few days and then see what to do from there."

"Can I see her?" I ask.

"Uh… I'm not sure if that would be the best idea."

"Well I rescued her," I defend.

"You're going to be stubborn about it, right?" she says with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Hell yeah," I say.

She gives me a sympathetic smile. "Well, I'm sorry but it's against rules. You're not the parent and I can't…" she trails off.

I frown. "Okay, it was worth a shot anyway. Thanks… uh…"

"I'm Allison," she says.

"Nate," I say.

She smiles. "Okay, well you better head off home… or to school. Wherever."

"Bye, Allison. Thank you." I flash her a smile before heading off with my backpack and coat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

I walk back over to the school and manage to slip in during a passing period.

Luckily, we're allowed backpacks at our school, so I go straight to my fifth class, English, and sit down in my spot like nothing happened. Hell, I don't want extra attention for being a hero.

Caitlyn turned to me. "Hey, I missed you first period. Where were you?"

I pause for a moment. "Uh… Dentist appointment," I lie.

"Oh okay," she says slightly suspiciously.

Just then, a girl walks into the room. She, of course, makes a huge commotion. "Oh my god, guys, you will never believe what I just over heard the principal talking about."

We were all intrigued.

"Apparently, someone found a baby in a trash can," she says, throwing her backpack down by her seat.

A bunch of "Whats?" and "No ways!" were echoed throughout the classroom. I sink a little bit lower in my seat.

"Are you serious?" Caitlyn asks.

The girl nods. "Yeah. That's so crazy. Why would someone do that?"

"Maybe it was someone at this school that got knocked up," someone adds.

"I bet it was that slut, Tess," some girl sneers.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't Tess…

"Yeah she's a real slut," some douche bag announces.

As much as I hate Tess… "Yeah? And how do you know?" I defend her, facing the guy.

The guy turns to me. With a smirk, he says, "Cause I fucked her last week. She's fucking like ten people already."

I sink even lower into my seat. I really don't want to hear this.

"I've heard that she's gotten like four abortions!" some chick contributes to the Tess-bashing conversation.

Stop it, stop it, stop it…

As if on cue, our teacher, Mr. Hansen, walks into the classroom, a huge smile on his face. "Hello, my students!"

"Four? Really?" a girl asks. "How do you know?"

"She told me last night," Sir Douche Bag says, standing up.

Our teacher lets out a huff of laughter. "I don't know what you guys are talking about, but please, stop."

Thank you.

"If you guys would please open up your books to page seven and we'll continue reading from where-" Mr. Hansen was cut off when some office aid comes in the room and hands him a blue slip of paper. He locks eyes with me and says, "Nate, they want to see you in the principal's office."

Everyone immediately turns to me. "Ooh," they all coo.

I take the walk of shame down the isle and head out of the classroom and into the principal's office. Right as I open the door, I see four familiar girls sitting in chairs. I pause and they all turn around to face me. Ella, Peggy, Tess, and Mitchie all look at me.

I feel like a lost sheep in a hailstorm.

"You wanted to see me?" I ask.

The principal points to a seat. "Please, Nate, take a seat."

I do as I am told.

He does this really creepy thing where he folds his hands on his desk and leans in close to use like we're about to get our asses kicked. "Let's cut straight to the chase, girls… and guy. We recently found out that a newborn child was found behind the school this morning. We looked on the security cameras and you five were the only ones that showed up in the past twelve hours." He turns to me and says, "Nate, I'm pretty sure you weren't the one who was pregnant, but because you were on the camera, we have to suspect you."

"Uh, I rescued the baby," I defend. "I was the one who found her."

"Um, excuse me," Tess says, having everyone draw their attention to her, "but this is a waste of my time. Do you see this perfectly fit body? Yes, so how could I have been the one that was knocked up?"

The principal glares at her. "Well I've heard from many, many sources that you have some very interesting… extracurricular activities."

This is where I burst out laughing. As much as I want to stop or I'll get my ass kicked, I keep giggling. You know when it's totally inappropriate to laugh, but you just can't stop? Well that's what I have right now.

Tess rolls her eyes and scoffs, crossing her arms across her chest.

Mr. Smith, the principal, clears his throat, and I bury my head into my arms, trying not to laugh. I end up getting a bout of silent stomach-hurting laughter.

"This is a very serious matter, Nate," he says.

I know, I know. Don't get your knickers in a knot.

"Anyway," he continues, despite my lack of focus and seriousness, "we are going to get to the bottom of this, girls."

Tess points to Mitchie. "I blame her. After all, she's a whale."

Mitchie's jaw drops and she slams her hands on Mr. Smith's desk, causing him to jump, and pushes out her chair. "I am not fat, you skanky little whore!"

"Whoa, whoa, settle down girls!" Mr. Smith exclaims, standing up.

Tess scoffs. "You're calling me a whore? You're the whore!" Then she pushes her.

I can almost hear the douche bag in me shout, "Cat fight! Cat fight!" But I restrain from calling it out loud.

"You little bitch!"

"Slut!"

This is when I go off again.

They keep pecking at each other, and then Tess makes her lethal move. She rips a part of Mitchie's hair out, and Mitchie screeches in pain.

"Ha!" Tess laughs, holding up the patch of hair she just ripped out of Mitchie's head.

Damn, I wish I had a camera. This would be such a great YouTube video.

"Settle down!" Mr. Smith yells.

Mitchie turns to him. "Do you see what this bitch just did?" she screeches and shows him the blood that smeared off of her head and onto her hand. "I'm fucking bleeding now!"

"That is it!" the principal almost screams. "If you two don't settle down right now, I will call the cops!"

Both girls leer at each other.

Ella and Peggy look scarred for life.

Me? I'm laughing my ass off.

"That's it," Mr. Smith says. "We're going to the hospital."

"Oh so I can get stitches for the gash this bitch just put in my head?" Mitchie asks, turning to Tess.

Tess rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest.

"Come on," he says, standing up.

Tess raises a hand. "Um, I'm not going anywhere until I have a lawyer or parent present."

"Ms. Tyler, you better come right now," Mr. Smith says in his best scary old man voice.

Tess slinks away a second, totally defeated, and then stands up and walks over to him. We all follow along and we end up all walking over to the hospital with the school police's escort.

I guess some of the doctors and police people had already set up a guilt-trip session, and they brought all five of us kids into a room with the baby. A female doctor looked at all of us.

"She's so beautiful," she says.

I look up at her. The doctor has fiery gingery hair. It's wavy and nice looking.

Guilt trip. I feel it coming on.

"It's such a shame that a beautiful baby girl was thrown into such misery," the doctor mutters, making sure to stare down the four girls.

I can't take my focus off the baby. I rescued her. I feel like I have some sort of connection with her.

"We will get the truth out of you guys," she continues. "We will break you."

All four of the girls keep staring at the baby.

I look up at the four people I thought I knew. They all looked so depressed.

One of them did it. I felt horrible just being in the same room as them.

Shit, son of a bitch. I'm gonna have to hate one of them by tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

The doctor took us each individually into the room with the baby. She started with Tess and ended with me.

When I was led into the guilt-trip room, I look up at her and said, "I think it's pretty much impossible for me to have had this kid."

She nods. "I'm doubting it was you, but we still have to keep in mind the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you dropped the kid off there for your girlfriend, possibly."

"And why would I do that?" I ask.

The doctor shakes her head. "I don't know. Look, I know it wasn't you, this is a waste of time." She turns to a nurse. "Get the other ones back in here."

Within moments, the four girls return.

"Girls, I will keep you here all night. Someone has to confess," the doctor says.

She intently stares all of them down.

Finally, they crack.

Peggy sighs. "Ella…"

We all turn to Ella.

And it was no surprise, too. She was wearing a very baggy hoodie, which I hear is good for hiding unwanted pregnant bellies. She looks up at the doctor, tears forming in her eyes. "It was me," she says softly.

The doctor softens up when she starts crying, and goes over to hug her. "Thank you for telling the truth," she whispers.

Then a police officer comes and escorts Ella out.

Tess, Peggy, and Mitchie all look extremely spooked and relieved.

That. Was. Intense.

X X X

When I go home, I'm still a bit shaken up. That was way beyond scary, getting interrogated like that. You do not want to be in my position.

I toss my backpack on the ground, saying, "I'm home!"

Jason comes downstairs with a bowl of pasta, putting it by the sink. "Hey, how was your day at school?"

"Uh… Not so pleasant." I say.

"Why?" Jason asks, nodding his head towards the stairs. We talk as we go up the stairs.

"Well, for starters, I didn't even go to school."

"Why?"

"Because," I say, heading into my room and sitting on my bed, "crazy things happened before school."

Jason sits on the bed with me. "Like what? Did you get mugged?"

I shake my head. "Worse."

He looks confused. "What's worse than that?"

"I found a baby in a trashcan."

Jason flinches. "Is it… okay?"

"Yeah it lived… but I don't think Ella's going to."

"Who's Ella?"

"Some girl at my school. She was the one who had the kid. She fessed up."

"Oh, wow. That's harsh."

"Yeah I was interrogated and everything," I say, pulling off my shoes and tossing them on the floor by my dresser.

Jason thinks for a second. "That name sounds so familiar. Ella… where have I heard that before?"

I shrug. Then I look out my door and see Shane standing there by the door, attempting to eaves drop. Only he's not very good at it, because I see some of his hair. "Shane?"

Shane peeks in. "What are you guys talking about."

"Do you know someone named Ella?" I ask.

He nods. "I've met her before."

"Well she just got busted."

His jaw drops. "What? Why?"

Why does he care so much? "Because she threw her newborn baby in a dumpster."

Shane stares at me in disbelief. "What's gonna happen to her?"

"I'm guessing she'll go to jail or something."

He stands there for a second and then quickly heads off back into his room.

Jason turns to me. "Okay, well, I was thinking of ordering pizza. What kind do you want?"

"Cheese," I tell him, grabbing my laptop. "I think I'm gonna write some stuff." Yeah, I'm a writer. Jealous?

Jason smiles. "Okay, I'll tell you when the pizza's here."

"Thanks," I say, typing in my password to my computer.

He leaves my room and I law down on my bed with my laptop perched up on my knees. I open up a Word document and stare at it for a second. I then log onto Facebook when I can't think of anything to write.

I look at the news feed and of course it's all about Ella and the baby. But some people are saying things that aren't true. I have twenty-six new notifications, all wall posts – people want to know what happened.

I go to my profile and only respond to my best friend, Caitlyn.

She wanted to know if I wanted to hang out tonight.

I wrote, "Hey Caitlyn. If you want to come over for dinner tonight, we're having pizza."

A few seconds later, she writes back, "Sure. I'll be over in about ten minutes."

Luckily, she lives a few streets down from me, so hang out often.

She's just about the only person I trust in this world. Well, besides Jason and Shane. But they're my brothers; I have to trust them.

I have trust issues.

I stalk some people's Facebook profiles for a while and then when the doorbell rings, I slam my laptop closed and run downstairs. When I open the door, I see Caitlyn standing there with the pizza man.

"I brought the pizza guy," she says, a hint of amusement in her voice. She walks inside.

"Come in," I say to the pizza man. "It's snowing out." I turn around and call Jason's name.

Jason comes to the door and hands the man some money in exchange for the two pizzas. I take the pizzas into the kitchen with Jason and Caitlyn following. When I set it down on the table, Caitlyn and Jason snatch up some slices.

"Hey, Shane, do you want some pizza?" I call upstairs.

I hear a door open and Shane comes down with his hair dyed a darker black, his nails painted black, and heavy black eye makeup on. I gawk at him. "That's a good look for you."

Shane growls and me and I jump back a bit. He walks into the kitchen and I hear Caitlyn gasp, so I go in there.

Caitlyn looks petrified. "Uh, Shane, why do you look so scary?"

He leers at her, staring her down. Caitlyn stares her down as well. Then Shane grabs a box of pizza and goes upstairs.

Caitlyn looks over at me. "That was just about the weirdest thing that's ever happened in the history of the world."

I nod. "He's pretty… different now."

"Why?"

"We don't know."

"Yeah, it's pretty weird," Jason adds through a mouthful of pizza.

Caitlyn grabs a Sprite from our fridge and opens. "That's so weird," she says, taking a sip of the drink. "Last time I was here, he was, well, normal."

I sit down at the table. "He's weird." I grab another slice.

We dit there in an awkward silence for a moment, then Caitlyn pulls something out of her purse. "On the bright side, I got the new Britney CD!"

I snatch it out of her hands. "No way! You got 'Circus?'"

She nods. "Where's your CD player?"

"I'll do it," Jason says, taking the CD away from me. He puts it in our kick-ass stereo system, and Britney starts blaring in our living room.

"Hey want to go outside and play?" Caitlyn asks.

I raise my eyebrows. "Play?"

She hits me on the arm. "You know what I mean."

I laugh. "Sure. Ok. Let's go play."

"Trampoline!" Caitlyn screeches, jumping up and down.

"Calm yourself," I say, opening the door. We both go outside and go over to the trampoline. Because our stereo is so cool, we can hear the music playing outside.

When we were jumping, I kept falling over.

"You suck," Caitlyn says and stops jumping when I fall over again.

"Sorry," I say not so apologetically, standing back up.

"Let's go so something else," she says, getting off the trampoline.

I get off as well and see Caitlyn attempting to pogo stick. She kept falling over.

"No, no, no," I say, taking the pogo stick away from her. "Let me show you how to do it."

She rolls her eyes.

I count as I jump, and once I get to thirty-three bounces, I turn into a show off. "Look," I say, closing my eyes. "No eyes!"

"Nate!" Caitlyn exclaims. "Look out for the-"

Only too bad for me, she didn't warn me in time and I take one more jump, only I don't jump on land – I fall in the pool.

When I hit the water, I freeze up. Falling into a pool in the middle of winter in Canada is not one of my best moves I've ever made. I swim up to the surface and cough up some cold water.

I feel like I was in the Titanic.

I get out of the pool as quickly as I can and once I get out, I stand there shivering until Caitlyn gets me a warm, dry towel. I take off all of my jackets and wrap the towel around myself, my teeth chattering.

"Good job," she says.

I'm too cold to come back with a witty remark, so I just waddle inside.

Jason, who was on the couch watching TV, looks over at me and gasps. "Nate Gray, what did you get yourself into this time?" He hops off the couch and comes over to me. "Good Lord, Nate!"

"Cold," I manage to say through tightly clenched teeth.

"Come on," Jason says, putting his hand on my shoulder, "let's go get you warmed up."

He takes me into the master bathroom and starts to fill up the bathtub with hot water and bubble bath. Jason helps me take off my socks – which was a bitch, mind you – and Caitlyn and him look away while I take my pants off, but then turn back around once I am safely covered under a pile of bubbles.

"So what'd you do?" Jason asked.

"Fell into the pool," I reply, swooshing the water around a bit.

"Well I can see that," he says, "but did you fall in?"

I let out a huff of laughter. "I pogo sticked in."

"Nate, how many times have I told you not to use that old thing? You know what happened last year!" Jason scolds.

"Yeah, well that's only cause you're a klutz!"

Last year, Jason decided to pogo stick off the diving board, only he jumped a bit too much and missed the pool and splattered all over the patio.

Let's just say, he wasn't able to move for a while after that.

I look over at Caitlyn who has been awkwardly quiet for a bit and wave to her, saying, "Hey, girl, hey!"

She laughs. "Listen, as much fun as it is watching you sit her in the nuddy pants, my mom wants me home by dark." Caitlyn stands up. "Now you listen here, mister. No more falling into frozen pools, okay?"

I giver her a thumbs up. "I plan not to."

She flashes me a smile. "See you later. Oh, and by the way, you look like my poodle when we used to give him baths."

"Thanks," I say, blushing a bit.

Right as we're sure she's left, Jason turns to me smiling.

"You blushed," he says.

I shake my head. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did! You're in love!"

"No I'm not."

"Don't deny it, Nate. It's cute. I like it."

"Shut up," I say and splash Jason.

Jason laughs. "It's cute." He looks up thoughtfully at the sky. "I remember my first crush…"

"Who?" I ask.

He turns to me. "Hilary Duff."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

"Hey, Nate, are you dead?" Jason asks, poking me.

I groan and turn over. Too tired. What was it, like four in the morning?

"Wake up, Nate. It's past two."

"No. Tired. Sleep."

"It's bad to sleep too late," Jason says.

"Who the hell told you that?" I ask.

"Dad. Now get up."

I sigh and open my eyes, rubbing the eye boogers out of them. Damn Sandman always putting shit in my eye when I least expect it. Does he not have a life? What kind of a sick person goes around and puts sand in your eyes when you're not looking?

Jason smiles. "Okay, I was thinking we could go to the mall today to buy Christmas presents."

"Kay…" I say, pulling the covers off of me. Right as I stand up, I lose my balance and have to hang on to Jason to remain standing.

Jason looks concerned. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head. "Nope… I'm tired."

He puts the back of his hand on my forehead. "You have a fever," he says. "Lay back down."

"Certainly," I say, hopping back in my nice, warm bed. After all, that's all I wanted to do in the first place. I close my eyes and pull the covers up to my chin.

"Should I call a doctor?" Jason asks being all parent-like.

"Don't make a fuss about it." That's the last thing I want – people fondling over me. Just leave me alone, dammit.

"I'm worried, though," Jason says.

"I'll be fine. Calm yourself."

"Well what if you're not?"

"Then you can call someone. But right now, I'm perfectly fine."

And then I feel my stomach churn. Like how you feel right before you barf. Quickly, I shove Jason out of my way and go into the bathroom, barfing my guts out into the toilet. Yucky poo poo pants.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jason asks again.

"Okay, fine. I'm not okay, Jason. Happy?"

"Calm yourself, you don't need to get defensive about it," he says.

I go back over to my safe heaven (AKA my bed) and lay back down, moaning.

"You sound like shit."

"Why thanks."

"Do you want me to call someone now?"

"No way."

"Okay… fine… Do you need anything?"

"I need for you to go away so I can sleep."

"Alright. I'm going to do some Christmas shopping, if that's okay."

"Perfectly fine."

"If you need anything, you can call my cell phone, or Shane's in his bedroom."

"Okay that's great."

"I'll call in about an hour to make sure-"

"JASON! Leave!"

"Okay, okay."

Good Lord, he doesn't know when to shut up, does he?

"Well make sure to call if you need anything at all…" Jason stands there in the doorway.

"You can leave now!"

He sighs. "I feel bad leaving you here all alone when you're sick."

"Okay, I get it. Go to the mall."

"But I don't want to leave you-"

"Go to the mall, Jason!"

Jason comes over and kisses me on the head before heading off.

I end up falling asleep, but then get a startling awakening when my cell phone starts ringing. I grab it off of my side table. "Hello?" I ask sleepily.

"Hey Nate, how are you?" Jason asks.

"I'm sleeping."

"Okay, I'm sorry for waking you up."

"Okay."

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Because if you do, I can come home right now-"

I hang up on him and let my phone fall on the floor, probably getting lost under a mountain of dirty clothes that have piled up on my floor. I close my eyes and fall asleep with my arm off the bed.

The next time I wake up, I find that my arm has been put back on the bed and another blanket was added to my mountain that was forming on top of me.

I open my eyes and see Jason sitting there like a stalker. I wipe a bit of drool off of my face. "Thanks for the blanket."

"Yeah, you were shivering," he says.

The thing about Jason is that he's too nice. It freaks me out.

"What'd you get at the mall?" I ask.

"I went to Bath and Bodyworks."

"Only you…" I start.

"I got you something." He pulls out a big bag and throws this stuffed animal at me. It's a lamb.

I hold it. "Thanks."

"And I got you some other stuff too." Jason takes out a bottle of bubble bath. "It's supposed to help with being sick or something."

"Well that's great."

"Yeah, and I got Shane some stuff too."

"Mmm hmm…"

When I resort to the 'mmm hmms' that means I no longer care about the conversation.

"So are you feeling any better?"

"No."

"Do you want me to call someone?"

"No."

"Do you want me to make dinner?"

"Sure."

"Okay, do you want pasta?"

"Whatever."

"Kay, I'll make pasta. Holler if you need anything."

"Okay."

"If you need anything at all…"

"GO AWAY!"

"Fine."

He leaves and I have the weirdest dream. I had this dream that the 'That Was Easy' button was chasing me around my house with a knife and he finally caught up with me and every time he stabbed me, he would go, "That was easy. That was easy."

The next thing I know, Jason is shaking me. "Nate!"

My eyes shoot open. "What? What?"

"You were screaming!" he says.

"I was?!"

"Yeah!"

"I must have been dreaming…" I say.

"Okay, well it was just a bad dream, buddy." He ruffles with my hair, which pisses me off. "I made pasta." He hands me a bowl of pasta off of my side table.

I look at it and want to barf. "I feel too sick to eat it."

He gives me a sympathetic smile. "It's okay. I'll make more later when you're feeling better."

"Mmm hmm…" I close my eyes again and he ruffles my hair again.

"Sleep well, my little angel."

His little angel?

Jason leaves.

I hop out of bed and grab my laptop and make a list.

Things that really piss me off:

All the hoopla about Michael Phelps

George Bush

Taylor Swift and her "24 second breakup." GET OVER IT. Maybe he broke up with you because you're a huge bitch!

American Football

Braces

Grey's Anatomy's newest episodes

Dead baby jokes

Dentists

G-Rated people

People who miss school for religious holidays

Ice and how it melts too fast, diluting your drinks

Hilary Duff

Frozen pizzas

When people don't brush their teeth and breathe near you

People who study for tests

When my internet doesn't connect right away

Tess Tyler

School pictures

When people rub cotton balls together

The huge super-churches

When people pay too much attention to me

People with no musical talent

Five-minute passing periods. (We need more time than that.)

Gay bashing

My list is very long because, well, a lot of things piss me off. I close my laptop and set it down on my side table. I knocked over a glass of water, but right now, I don't give two shits. I fall asleep again.

When I wake up again, Jason is in my room. "Hi."

"Ugh," I moan, flipping over.

"I take it you're not feeling any better?"

"No way, man."

"Do you want me to get a doctor now?"

"No, Jason, no. I do not want more people crowding over me."

Jason feels my forehead. "You're warmer than you were yesterday."

"I'm so hot it hurts," I giggle.

"Are you in pain? Do you want Advil?"

"No, Jason, it was a joke. 'I'm so hot it hurts' is lyrics to a song. Good grief."

"Well I'm sorry I care!"

"Well I'm sorry you care!"

"You know what? I'm gonna call a doctor! Because you're not getting any better!"

"Fine! Be that way!"

Jason storms out of my room.

Uhh, what just happened?

Oh, screw it. I fall back asleep.

But of course I can't sleep because then I hear Jason and some chick talking.

"Fuck off," I mutter under a mountain of blankets.

"Sorry. Can't," someone who I don't recognize says. "Your brother already hired me to make sure you get better."

"Fabulous," I say, turning away from whoever it was.

"He's stubborn," I hear Jason tell the person.

"I can see," she says. "So, Nate…"

Maybe if I pretend like I'm asleep she won't talk to me.

"When did you get sick?" she continues.

Ignoring, ignoring…

"Cat got your tongue?"

I hear Jason sigh. "Yesterday is when he got a fever. He didn't get out of bed all day. The previous day he fell in the pool."

"Well I'm assuming falling in the pool as something to do with it."

The douche bag in me wanted to say, "No shit, Sherlock." But I refrain from saying anything.

"Can you turn around, darling?" the lady asks.

Ignore.

"Don't make me hurt you."

Ignoring…

Then I feel the person – whoever they were – flip me over using force.

"Good," she smiles.

I narrow my eyes at her and turn back around.

"I know what it's like," she says. "Being sick and all… having people crowding around when all you want is to them to leave you the hell alone."

Good God she read my mind.

"But I need to make you better, kay?"

"Nate," Jason says, "now's not the time to be stubborn."

I'm being stubborn and I like it.

He sighs. "I'm sorry, Penelope."

The girl – I'm assuming Penelope – giggles a bit. "It's okay. I've dealt with much worse patients before."

Then Penelope does something I never thought anyone would do.

She hops up on my bed and sits down right next to my face.

"Hi," I say, startled.

Penelope laughs. "Oh, praise the great lord! He can talk! For a second there, I thought you'd lost your voice."

Hah. You're so funny, Penny.

"Okay, then, mister, can you say 'ahh?'"

I open one eye. "Nope."

She fake pouts. "I know you can. Be the little engine that could!"

What am I? Five?

Then she puts on this really serious face. "Don't make me force you."

We have a stare down contest and then Penny launches herself at me. She opens my mouth for me and I let out a pathetic excuse for a scream, which came out a lot like an "ahh!"

"Good! There we go!" she says. "Now are we going to have to do this for the thermometer, too?"

I turn away from this crazy bitch.

She pulls me back over and shoves a thermometer under my tongue.

"You take that out and I'ma cut you!" she says in this really scary voice.

I decide it might be best not to take it out. When it beeps, she takes it out and looks at it.

"Congratulations, Nate, you have the flu. I herby declare that you should stay in bed, take some medicine… yada, yada, yada. Got it?" Penny asks.

"Mmm hmm…"

Penelope and Jason leave the room, chit chattering away.

About ten minutes later, Jason comes up to my room. "Oh my god, that girl is so hot!" he exclaims, sitting down in my chair.

"Mmm hmm…"

"Good lord, she looks like Hilary Duff!"

Now that I think of it, she sure does.

"Nate, I love you!" he kisses me and then says, "I'll go pick up your medicine from the pharmacy. You stay here."

"Okay!" I call out.

Hmm… Doctor Hilary Duff.

Dr. Hilary Duff and … my brother.

Gross.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

"Nate," I hear someone whispering.

I slowly open my eyes and see Shane standing there in his full goth attire. I scream and jump back a bit, as I was expecting to see Jason and not… him.

"Nice to see you too," he mutters.

"Sorry, it's just that… You look so scary."

"Thanks. So," he continues, "is Jason going to be home tonight?"

"Uh… no."

"Or mom?"

"Uh… no. Mom and him coming back tomorrow." They left to go visit our crazy uncle in Saskatchewan. I would go, but I'm sick.

"Good." He starts to leave.

"Why?" I ask.

"Cause," he says, walking away. Then after like two seconds, he comes back in my room. "Oh, and Jason says to take some shit… Forgot what it's called."

I raise my eyebrows. "Flu medicine?"

"Yeah. That."

"Can you get it for me?"

"Uh… no…"

"Come on, Shane."

"Goddamn, get it yourself. You have two legs."

"Yes, but I'm sick." I cough a bit to make a point.

"Too bad." He makes this weird _psh_! noise and walks out of my room.

I lay there in a silent awe. Jason leaves for one day and this happens. I guess I'm not gonna be able to take my medicine, and thus die.

Great. I'm dead.

But right now, I'm too exhausted to think about dieing.

So I go back to sleep, only to wake up when I hear a very expensive vase falling and crashing to the ground, shattering in about a million pieces.

My eyes shoot up and I look up, only to see two teens in the corner of my room _making_ _out_ like I was invisible or something. I look over at them. "Do you mind?"

The two look over at me.

"Oh, dude," the guy says. "I'm sorry. We thought you were dead."

They leave my room.

They thought I was dead?

Ha. Wow.

I hear music blaring from down stairs, so I head down there, slowly. You know I still feel like shit and walking through a teen party in my PJs might not be the best idea.

I go into the kitchen and see people on our island, snogging, and then I open the fridge. Hmm, last time I checked, we didn't have a beer keg in there. I get my flu medicine and push some people aside to get a cup. I fill it up with some orange juice.

Oh, gross. I hate flu medicine; it tastes like dog feces. And I only know what that tastes like because when I was five, Shane dared me to eat it. I down the disgusting liquid as fast as I can and drink some orange juice after it.

A kid looks over at me. "Dude, you here to crash the party?"

I look at him like he's crazy – which he probably is. "Uh… no… I live here." Freaky weirdo.

"Oh… That explains a lot."

"Okay…" I say awkwardly, putting my empty glass in the sink. I head back upstairs, but instead spot sight of Shane, so I go over to him. "Hi, Shane. Since when do we having raving teen parties at our house?"

He shrugs. "Well no one was home, and you were sick. Hope you don't mind."

"Umm, well I'm trying to sleep. How would you like it if you were sick and people were being crazy teenagers downstairs? Huh?"

Shane stares at me.

Then, someone comes up behind me. "I think someone needs a wedgie!"

"Huh?" I turn around, but it was too late.

Some stupid teenager picks me up – by my underwear – and I scream. He laughs. Then he picks me up. "Wow, you're awfully light."

"Wow, you're awfully stupid," I say.

"Catch!" he says to one of his mates. He then tosses me – yes, he tosses me – across the way and I land in someone else's arms. They both start laughing.

"Uhh, you might not want to do that," I say when I feel queasy.

"Why?" Douche Bag number two asks. He throws me back to Douche bag number one.

Then, my stomach does a flip flop and I throw up all over DB1's shirt.

DB1 gasps and throws me down on the ground. "Sick! That is sick!"

"You're right," I say, getting up. "I have the flu. Told you you shouldn't have done it." I go into the kitchen and grab a glass and fill it up with water. I slowly sip it, trying to get the vomit taste out of my mouth.

After I finish the water, I decide to head back upstairs.

Only too bad for me, right when I enter my room, I see two people sitting on my bed smoking, what appeared to be, pot.

"Get out," I say. I feel like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. That was a good movie.

Stoner guy looks up at me. "Yo. Want some?"

I let out a huff of laughter. "And turn out like you? No thanks."

I push the two intruders out of my room and try to go back to sleep. But I can't sleep. There are way too many people downstairs, and I also think there might be some people having sex under my bed. I sigh and flip over for about the millionth time.

I hear a knock on my door and then Shane comes in my room. He gives me a slight smile.

I turn over. "Shane, when are these people going to leave? I already feel like Hell and they're not helping."

Shane closes the door. "Look, Nate. Don't rat me out to Jason."

I furrow my brows. "Umm… okay."

"I bet of you, don't do it."

"Fine. I won't."

"Do you promise?"

"Sure."  
"Pinky swear?"

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever."

"Good boy," Shane says, handing me a cup. "I got you orange juice."

"Thanks," I say, sipping it. I hear Vitamin C is good for fighting off infections.

"So… you just try to sleep and I'll be… places."

Shane leaves my room.

I sit there and drink my orange juice. Suddenly, I feel a bit less tired, so I grab my computer. I log onto AOL instant messenger and see that Caitlyn is on.

**Nate Gray: **Hi Caitlyn

**Caitlyn Gellar: **Hey Nate. What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be sleeping or doing whatever sick people do?

**Nate Gray: **Can't sleep.

**Caitlyn Gellar: **That's weird.

**Nate Gray: **What's weird?

**Caitlyn Gellar:** Oh nothing. I just saw the cops go by.

**Nate Gray: **Cops?

**Caitlyn Gellar: **Yeah. Someone's having a party down the street. Near you, I think. It must be pretty bad because a ton of people complained.

**Nate Gray: **Huh…

**Caitlyn Gellar: **Yeah. My mom was talking to our crazy neighbor. She said there were a bunch of crazy teens smoking weed over near you. Look out your window; maybe you'll see them.

**Nate Gray: **Yeah, I see them. Listen, I'm off to bed. It's past three. I just realized that.

**Caitlyn Gellar: **Okay, get well soon, my little poodle puff.

I put my computer down on the floor.

I don't want to know who's having this crazy party, nor do I really care. I try to go back to sleep, but then my eyes shoot open when I realize something.

I think the raving party is at my house.

Screw it. It's not my problem, anyway. I'm just the sick little kid, locked in his room. I try to go back to sleep and succeed.

But then I get rudely awaken when someone barges into my room without even knocking first.

And shit, bitch ass motherfucker! It's the coppers!

I scream and hide under my blanket.

The cop comes over to me and yanks the blanket off of me. "Do you have weed or any other illegal substances in your possession?" he asks without even a 'hello.'

"What? No!" I say, shaking. "I don't even know what's going on! I've been sick in bed!"

The guy raises his eyebrows. "Uh huh, and tell me why I should believe you."

"Because I'm here in my PJs with an ass load of used tissues around me."

"Do you know what's been going on here?"

"Um, no. I already told you I was sick, sleeping."

The cop doesn't believe me, so he feels my forehead. "Okay," he says. "I believe you."

I play a confused look across my face. "Okay… goodnight then." I hop back in my bed. I feel the cop hovering over me, so I hack up a bit of shit for emphasis and he leaves.

WITHOUT EVEN SHUTTING THE DOOR.

I want to yell so bad, "CLOSE THE GOD DAMN DOOR!" but I don't. Instead, I get up and close it.

Right as I think I get some peace and quiet, Shane leaps into my room, and runs as fast as he can into my closet, closing the door and locking it.

"Hi," I call to him.

I get no reply. He must be hiding in my closet from the police.

My brother, the reincarnated Anne Frank.

When I finally doze off for a bit, I get rudely awakened – once again – by the cops.

I keep my eyes closed, however, and try to just sleep. Maybe if I sleep he'll go away.

Only the cop pushes me roughly out of bed and I fall on the floor with a startled gasp. I look up and this time it's a lady cop.

"Hello, Ma'am," I say politely. I mustn't forget my manners now.

"Are you holding any illegal substances here?" she asks.

"No."

"Well, some how I don't believe you, considering that every other person in this whole house was found with drugs." She comes over and basically gropes me, looking for any potential drugs.

I decide that it's way too late to be arguing with anyone and just let her finish feeling me up without a single word.

"He's clean," the lady calls out to someone else.

Then she leaves.

And the commotion all dies down within a few minutes.

The music stops, the people stop chattering.

I'm in an empty house.

I grab my cup of orange juice and drink it. Yummy, yummy, juice from oranges. How do those oranges do it?

"It's safe," I tell Shane.

Shane hesitantly opens the door and looks around, completely spooked.

"So…" I start. "Nice party."

"Look, I didn't mean for it to get out of hand like that."

"I'm sure you didn't."

I stand up and drink more of the juice. I tap my fingers restlessly on the side table. "So was it fun? Did you have an awesome time?"

"Well besides the whole police thing – yeah," he says, quite content with himself.

I sit down on my chair and bounce my leg up and down. "Well that's good. As long as you had fun." I pause for a second and then blow up in his face. "YOU IDIOT! How could you throw a drug party?!"

"Nate, you promised not to tell!"

I shake my head. "Shane, we got our house searched by the cops – _I_ got searched by the cops. When I get searched for drugs, that mean's something's not right." I grab my cell phone off the ground. "I'm calling Jason."

"No you're not!" Shane says, attacking me. He grabs my phone from me and snaps it in half.

I gasp. "Good lord, Shane!"

"You're not telling anyone anything, got that?" Shane threatens, grabbing the collar of my shirt.

"Let go of me!" I yell.

Shane lets go of my collar and huffs. He goes down the stairs and opens the fridge.

I follow closely behind him. "What are you doing now? Getting more drugs? Are you gonna get high?" I ask.

Shane holds up the gallon of orange juice. "No, I'm drinking orange juice."

"Does that help with hang overs?" I ask.

He sighs. "Look, Nate. You probably won't believe me, but I don't do drugs."

"Hah!" I laugh. "Sure you don't."

"It's true," he says, pouring a glass of OJ. "I just sold the pot and ecstasy tabs – I didn't take any of it."

"Somehow I can't trust you."

"Fine. Be that way. But I'm telling the truth."

I sigh. "Okay…"

Part of me wants to believe he's clean. But part of me just can't trust him any more. I skeptically walk over and pour myself some of the orangey delight.

Shane and I stand there, leaned up against the kitchen island, sipping our juice. I, however, was sipping it much slower as I didn't want to upset my already-upset stomach even more. I grab some Saltines and eat those, trying to get my stomach to settle. I feel like barfing.

"So I'm sorry I didn't bring you your flu medicine this morning," Shane says.

I look over at him. "It's okay."

"No, I feel awful."

"Why?"

"Because you're my brother… and I care about you."

"You haven't cared about me in three months."

We both stay silent.

"Okay, you should probably go back to bed. You and your sick germs should crawl back upstairs, eh?" Shane says.

I raise my eyebrows. "Are you kidding me? All I want to do right now is…" I let a shiver race through my body. I don't know what caused it or why, but it was a warm shiver. "I kinda want to… run around in a circle."

I start screaming in the most annoying way possible and run around in a circle.

Shane joins me. We both run around the kitchen for a bit, but then I slip on something – I think it might have been my cat – and Shane and I go flying down to the floor, laughing.

"Get music," I say, hopping back up.

I pretend to pole dance with the wall, singing, "All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus!"

Shane turns on the music, only much softer than before, and we both start laughing like loons and dancing.

I dance like a madman and trip over a few times. Especially when the walls started changing colors and started moving.

I don't know what happened, but Shane and I ended up lying down on the living room floor talking.

"Let's play a game called whose life sucks most," I say.

"Okay," Shane says.

"I'll go first. Well, first of all, I'm sick with the flu. Secondly, I got drug searched. I'll tell you what, Shane, getting searched for drugs by a complete and total stranger sure was the cherry on top of an excellent day. Oh, and I think I might be madly in love with Caitlyn. Oh, and I don't think our walls are purple and pink, but they sure do look that way."

Shane lets out a huff of laughter. "I so just beat your ass. Here's why my life sucks more than yours: I got some chick pregnant."

"Who?" I ask.

"Ella."

"Ouch," I say.

"Fuck yeah."

"You so win."

"I know."

We lay there for a second, and I close my eyes, trying to get the room to stop spinning.

"Oh, and," Shane says, "Mitchie spiked the orange juice with ecstasy."

"And we drank it?"

"Yup…"

I burst out laughing. "That is… that's so great." I attempt to stand up, but fall backwards with epic fail.

"Anyway. I'm off to bed," Shane says, using the couch to get up.

That's when I pass out, letting the blackness engulf me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

I moan and open my eyes. I find myself waking up in my bed with a horrible headache. Ugh, what happened?

"Nate," I hear someone calling my name.

I turn over. The person was talking, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. Their voice seemed off in the distance, and it echoed. They keep calling my name, but I am way too exhausted to answer.

When they start shaking me, I let an incoherent noise escape my lips.

"Goodness, you're alive," I hear someone say.

That voice… it's so familiar.

Wanting to satisfy my curiosity, I slowly open my eyes. They close almost instantly, but I fight to keep them back open. Standing there in front of me is Caitlyn.

"Hi," she smiles.

I grunt and close my eyes.

"Wow," Caitlyn says. "At least you're alive. I was so close to calling 9-1-1."

"Don't do that," I manage to croak out.

"Well you're talking to me, so I don't plan on it."

I'd talk to her, but right now I'm way too tired to say anything.

"So I take it you're still not better?"

"Worse. I feel like an elephant sat on me."

"Wow."

"I feel like I'm about to die."

"Most people feel that way when they're really sick."

I don't answer to that, and Caitlyn feels my forehead. "You're really, really warm. And you're sweating like crazy."

"Meh."

"Should I go get Jason?"

I nod. "Yeah." I pull the covers off of me. "Now excuse me while I barf my stomach lining out." I head over to the bathroom and puke my inners into the toilet, flushing occasionally.

Caitlyn hands me a roll of toilet paper. "You have some puke on your face."

I wipe it off and continue barfing. I must have thrown up at least six times before Caitlyn says, "Wow, do you have a really bad hangover or what?"

I shake my head. "I haven't drunken any alcohol in the past… well, in forever. And I don't remember anything from yesterday – I must have been sleeping all day."

"Look," Caitlyn says, "as much fun as this is, watching you puke, I'm going to go get Jason. This is crazy."

She leaves me alone to throw up two more times until Jason comes into my room. "Nate?" he asks.

I respond my putting more of my stomach's contents into the toilet.

Jason kneels down next to me. "Nate, are you okay?"

I shake my head.

He frowns. "I'll go call Doctor Schneider. She'll know what to do."

Yes, go call Doctor Hilary Duff so you can flirt with her some more.

Jason takes out his phone. "Hey, Penelope? Yeah, Nate's still really sick… sicker than before. I'm getting really worried… Okay, thanks. Bye." He turns to me. "She's coming over right now."

It's about time. My throat not only tastes like barf, but it also feels like it's on fire.

Jason grabs my arm. "Come on, let's go lie down." He helps me back up to my feet and carries me over to my bed, setting me down gently under the covers.

Time sure flies when you're delirious, because the next thing I know, Dr. Hilary Duff is standing next to me, checking my temperature.

"It's awfully high," she says.

Huh? I didn't catch anything she just said. Something about fuzzy socks.

"No… no…" I say.

"No?" Hilary Duff says. "What are you talking about?"

"No, I don't want your fuzzy slippers."

"Nate, what are you saying?" I hear Jason ask.

"I can't understand your accent," I say. "No eating fuzzy slippers, bad Caitlyn." I whimper a bit. "Head hurts." I bet I look really sweaty, flushed, and gross right now. I can imagine what I look like – my hair looks like a wet poodle. Covered with sweat. Which so isn't cool if you're trying to impress a girl. Ahem, Caitlyn.

"When did your headache start?" Dr. Hilary asks.

"I dunno. Like…" I just trail off, too tired to say really anything.

Hilary turns to Jason. "His high fever worries me. I think it'd be better off if he went to the hospital."

"What ever you think is best," Jason says.

Hilary Duff speaks to me. "Hey, Nate, we're going to go to the hospital now. Can you get out of bed?"

I moan and try to move. I sit up and put my legs off the side of the bed, trying to catch my breath. I eventually walk two feet before swaying a bit. I hang onto the closet person – who just so happened to be Hilary Duff – and she helps me walk out of the room. I grab my shoes – my man Uggs to be exact.

Yeah, I have Uggs. Jealous?

They're Muggs.

Anyway, I pull my shoes on and I attempt to walk down the stairs. When I struggle a bit to stay conscious, Jason just picks me up and carries me down.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital bed with Jason and Caitlyn sleeping in chairs to my right.

Jason is snoring softly and Caitlyn has a bit of drool on her face.

I decide that it's best not to wake them up because when I look outside, it's pitch black, which means it's really late.

I do, however, feel kinda bad. Not because of the headache, but because of the fact that the two people I care about the most are sleeping in small arm chairs, awkwardly, and it's all my fault.

Then, Doctor Jason Likes To Flirt With Me walks into my room. "Oh, Nate! You're finally awake!" she says when she sees me staring out the window like a retard, watching the snow fall.

I turn to her. "Yeah."

"How are you feeling?" she asks, writing on something or other.

"Much better, actually. I don't know how you people do it. It's magical."

She laughs a bit. "Magical, eh?"

I nod. "Spend one night here and my headache's gone and I'm not sweating like five Inuits in the middle of Arizona during July."

"Nice simile."

"Thanks. I try."

"So," Hilary Duff says, "do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?"

"Good news."

"Okay. Good news is we got your fever down to a normal temperature and you're not going to die."

"Well that's some pretty good news as far as good news goes."

"Yeah, but the bad news is we found traces of ecstasy in your body." I freeze up. "Yeah. Busted."

"What are you talking about?" I didn't take any drugs.

"I checked it personally three times. Nate, do you realize that ecstasy is illegal?"

I nod. "Yup. Learned about it in health."

"Then you know what it can do?"

"Yup."

"Well then you know that it suppresses your immune system which isn't good if you're already sick. It's probably why you got sicker so suddenly."

"That would explain why."

"Well, the thing is, I know you took it. Tell me the truth here about it and maybe I won't kill you too harshly."

"I seriously have no idea whatsoever as to why I would take it. Maybe because I didn't. I was asleep all day yesterday."

"I heard about the party."

"What party – oohhh. Yeah. _That_ one."

Hilary nods. "Mmm hmm…"

"There was a party, but no, I stayed in bed all day like a good little sick person. I remember kicking some people out of my room, but other than that I was sleeping." Really, honestly. I was telling the truth. I slept the whole time. Well, I do remember getting up to drink some orange juice, but that's it.

"And I also heard that party got a little out of hand… cops showed up," Hilary continues.

Huh? I don't remember anything about cops. "They did? Since when?"

"Don't act like you don't know anything," she says kind of harshly.

"But… I don't."

"Look, I'm not going to tell Jason if that's what you mean."

"Don't tell Jason about what?"

"About the party and the police."

"Okay, but I still don't know what you're talking about."

Police? Is she crazy? No police came to my house last night…

Doctor Hilary Duff stares me down a bit. I stare right back.

"Okay, then," she says, putting the binder she was writing in down. "We'll play this game."

"Huh?" I ask.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she says, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Wait, what?"

"Nate, you do not make any sense."

"I have no idea what we're-"

"Anyway, you better get some sleep. It's past three in the morning."

"But I still don't underst-"

Doctor Hilary Duff lets out a huff of laughter. "Stop being silly, Nate. Just go back to sleep, kay?"

I'm more lost than a sheep in a snow storm in the middle of August.

"I'll be back tomorrow to check on you," Hilary says and walks out the door.

"Wait! Don't walk away; I need to know wh-" I stop when she closes the door.

That might have been the most confusing conversation I think I've ever had.

I look over and see that Jason is still snoring away. (That's kinda embarrassing considering the fact that he likes Doctor Hilary Duff.)

Well, there's no use in staying up if everyone else is asleep.

X X X

I open my eyes and see two empty seats where Caitlyn and Jason once were. I flip over onto my back and see Doctor Schneider standing there looking through some drawers.

"Good morning," I say, sleepily. I yawn. The sun was shining through the window and it was pissing me off.

She turns around and closes the drawer with her hip. "Hello. How are you feeling today?"

"The same as I was four hours ago," I say, messing with the blue blanket that was laid on top of me. There was a little bit of fuzz on it, and I had to get it off.

"You were up four hours ago?" she asks.

"Umm… yes. We were talking."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she says. Doctor Hilary winks at me.

Ooh, I get it now.

Yeah, that conversation 'never happened.'

"Where are Jason and Caitlyn?" I ask, pointing to the empty chairs.

"They went out for breakfast. They left like an hour ago so they should be back soon."

"Oh, okay."

"Speak of the devil," Dr. Schneider smiles when they walk through the door.

Isn't it weird how you'll be talking about someone and then they'll show up right next to you?

"You're awake, Natey," Jason says when he sees me. When Dr. Schneider turns around he blushes a bit. "Good morning, Penelope."

Caitlyn comes over and hugs me. "Nate, I'm so glad you're alive! I thought you died!"

I pat her on the back. "It's okay, Caitlyn."

"I was so worried about you, Nate! You don't even know!"

"There, there," I say awkwardly. "It's all okay now."

Caitlyn slaps me across the face. "Don't you ever do anything stupid like falling into a pool again, you got me?"

"Gees, woman, chill!" I say, my hand over my now-sore cheek.

She pulls me into another tight hug. "God, I love you."

Five minutes later and we're all sitting around chatting about good things, nice things. Things like Christmas and the New Year's.

Jason keeps making googly eyes at Dr. Schneider – his sad attempt at flirting – and it makes me gag.

"Question," I say, having everyone turn his or her attention to me. "Can I like get up and walk around or is that illegal?"

"Yeah. You can walk around if you're feeling okay," Hilary says.

"Good," I say, getting out of bed. "It's nice standing up for a change." I still wasn't one hundred percent better, but all I really wanted to do was go do something dangerous. "Let's go walk around, Caitlyn."

"Okay," Caitlyn says, hopping out of her chair.

We both leave the room and go down the main hall.

When we're far away from the room, I turn to Caitlyn. "I want to go do something dangerous."

She let's out a huff of laughter. "Pogo sticking into a cold pool and getting a fever high enough to get you hospitalized wasn't dangerous enough for you?"

I shake my head. "I want to run away and never look back."

"Hmm…" Caitlyn says. "I can see… yes."

"See what?"

"Where your insanity comes from."

"Oh, screw you. Let's go outside. I'll race you!" I begin walking really fast and then go to a jog. I look back and see Caitlyn just walking down the hall with her hands in her jacket pocket. I stop jogging as I get winded. I stand still and bend over a bit, catching my breath. Good lord, I feel like I just ran up a mountain.

Caitlyn comes up to me and pats me on the back. "Let's just stick to the walking for now. Goddamn, you're like an old person."

I point an accusing finger at her. "I am not an old hag."

"You might as well be," she says. We start walking.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, first of all, you always use correct grammar when you instant message me."

"That's only because I'm a writer."

"Yes, I'm sure it is. Secondly, you fell off of a bunk bed last year and fractured your hip. If that doesn't scream old person, I don't know what does."

"So maybe crashing and burning is one of my daily activities. Still doesn't mean I'm an old person."

"You talk about your health problems at dinner."

"What? Do not!"

"Yes you do! Remember that one time we all had dinner at my house? You started talking to my grandparents about your root canal!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did. It was last fall. I remember perfectly!"

"I so did not talk about that-"

"You can't run for more than ten seconds without getting winded."

"Not true."

"Yes it is. Don't you remember PE last year? Coach Dyke made you run and after two minutes you passed out."

"I have a weak heart!"

"No you don't!"

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do!"

"Ugh."

"You get sick so easily."

"No I don't."

"This is like the tenth time you've gotten sick this season."

"That's because it's winter!"

"Yeah, and old people get sick in the winter! Plus, you got athlete's foot."

"In a locker room."

"But you told me you never take off your socks in there! How the hell is that even possible?!"

"That's a stupid reason-"

"Last but not least – I question your sanity. No old person is sane."

"What yes they can be."

"No they can't!"

"You know what, I'm allowed to be like that."

"Uh huh, and why?"

"Because I'm special!"

"No, you're just an old person!"

We both leave the building and go out into the little garden.

"Sometimes, Caitlyn, I really hate you."

"And sometimes, Nate, I really hate you too."

"But other times, I love you."

Caitlyn stops walking. "Can you repeat what you just said?"

I shake my head and keep walking.

"No, no. Nate. Did you really just say that you love me?"

"Well… yeah."

She stays silent and we keep walking.

Caitlyn then stops. "When I say 'I love you' it's a girly thing that doesn't mean much. But when you – or any other straight guy for that matter – says it, it's true."

I turn around. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you love me?"

"… Yeah."

Caitlyn smiles. "Hey, Nate, I think you should look up."

I look up.

Mistletoe.

"How romantic," I say. "Just in time for the holiday season, eh?"

Caitlyn moves closer to me and wraps her arms around me. "I love you Nate. Not in the girly type, but in the throw rocks at your window, make you breakfast, pretend to like your taste in music type."

And then I have no clue how it happens, but we kiss.

Right under the mistletoe.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

I'd give out kiss a seven on the snogging scale. It was one of those kisses that last forever, and you only come up for air occasionally because you are so into it.

"I'm pretty sure I just gave you the flu," I tell Caitlyn.

She giggles. "Like I care."

"I'm going to feel awful when you are laying there on your bed in agony and it's all my fault."

"Well I'm not going to get sick. Because I'm not an old person. Like you."

I scoff and then laugh. "You're mean."

"You're mean, too."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are; you gave me the flu."

"Psh! I thought you didn't get sick!"

"No… you just gave me a love bug."

"That was so unbelievably cheesy, it was ridiculous."

"I know. But I'm a girl; I have to be ridiculously corny."

"So there are rules now?"

"There are rules to just about everything. Think about it."

I think about it… and there kinda are. "Well then," I say, "aren't we just so smart?"

When I turn to Caitlyn, I see her gawking at something – or someone – over in the distance.

"What?" I ask.

She grabs my arm and pulls me behind a bush. "What is Tess Tyler doing here?"

"Huh?" I say. I peek out from over the top of the bushes and see Tess there, talking with an adult. She's in the building, however, and we're looking at her through a window.

"I wonder why she's here," Caitlyn whispers like she can hear us behind the glass.

I stand up. "Let's go find out."

"No!" Caitlyn hisses, pulling me back down. "Don't let her see you in the God-awful hospital gown you're wearing!"

It was then that I realized what I was wearing. "You're right. She'd make fun of me forever if she saw me in this."

"Come on; we've got to get out of here without her seeing!"

Caitlyn and I do some really cool James Bond moves – just for fun – and we slip back into the hospital without Tess seeing us. Caitlyn did this awesome roll on the ground, only her hair got caught on a fichus and she got out of it with an amazingly awesome sound effect.

When we got back inside, we were laughing and talking about our mini adventure. It was quite hilarious.


	10. Chapter 9 Part 2

**Chapter 8**

**Part 2**

When we got back inside, we were laughing and talking about our mini adventure. It was quite hilarious.

Only then Caitlyn said, "I'ma fuck up that fichus if it ever messes with me again."

Then I went off. I laugh so hard that I start crying and fall on the floor, rolling around. And it wasn't even that funny. People look at me like I'm crazy, but honestly, I don't care right now.

"Get up, you loon," Caitlyn says, pulling me back to my feet.

I calm down and we keep walking. When we turn the corner, someone opens a door really fast and I smack right into it. I fall over on the ground.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" the person who ran into me apologizes.

I look up and see Tess Tyler herself looking down at me.

"Wait… Nate?" she asks. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I get up. "Running into doors. What else? The real question is what are _you_ doing here?"

Tess huffs. "Visiting my sick grandma. Now, if you excuse me…" She pushed me a bit and then walks down the hall and leaves.

Caitlyn turns to me. "She so wasn't visiting her grandma."

"How do you know?" I ask.

"Because all her grandparents are already dead."

"Oh… Well, I think we need to do a little bit of… Tess-tigation."

Caitlyn raises her eyebrows. "Tess-tigation? Sounds provocative. Let's do it."

We both look at the door Tess came out of. Caitlyn hesitantly opens it and we both cautiously go inside.

"A rehab center?" Caitlyn asks, puzzled. "Why the hell would she be…"

"It's for eating disorders," I say, looking at a sign.

Caitlyn stands there, shocked. "Wow. Who ever thought that Little Miss Perfect could be so fucked up like the rest of us? Ooh, this is rich! Wait until we tell everyone at school!"

"No, we're not going to tell anyone anything! This is her own private business. We need not to stoop down to her level."

"Aw, but come on! We could get back at her for all the shit she's pulled in the past!"

Yes, revenge would be nice, but… "I'd rather not."

"God, sometimes, I really want to kill you," Caitlyn says and we head back into the mail hallway.

"I love you too."

Caitlyn and I walk back into the room and see Jason sitting there with his laptop.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey," Jason says, not tearing his attention away from the computer. "How was your walk?"

"Interesting…" I trail off, not quite sure what to say. A girlfriend and a huge secret all in one outing? Wow.

"So," Jason says. "I'm looking at some colleges in the states. What do you think about the Collin University of North Texas?"

"Don't go to Texas," I say but trail off when I think about the initials of the school.

I burst out laughing.

"I don't get it," Jason says. "What's so funny?"

I can't control myself. It was a pandemonium.

"What?" Jason asks, frustrated.

"Collin… University… North… Texas…" I say in between laughs.

Caitlyn then gets it and she too has a fit on the ground.

"I still don't get it!" Jason groans.

"It spells cunt, you idiot!" I say, continuing to roll on the floor.

"Ugh, Nate. You're so immature. I'm gonna kill you."

But I can't get over how funny it was. You know when you laugh and you just can't stop? Well Caitlyn and I had that.

"Well," Jason says, changing the subject, "Doctor Schneider says that you can go home tomorrow."

But I didn't hear a thing he said. All I heard was the laughter Caitlyn and I were producing.

"Did you hear me Nate? You can go home tomorrow. Isn't that great? You can finally go back to school!" Jason exclaims over my laughter.

I stop.

Yeah… school.

"You just ruined my life," I say.

X X X

The next day, I wake up. And guess what? I'm pouting. Because it's Tuesday. Which means I have to go to school.

"Can I stay here just one more day?" I ask Jason.

He shakes his head. "This isn't a hotel, Nate."

"Yes… but I don't want to go to school."

"Why? Is there someone bullying you?"

"No. Why the hell would someone be bullying me? No, I just hate going to school."

"Consider yourself lucky," Jason says.

"Lucky?"

"Yes. You get to go to school. I don't."

"Yes well you could if you had gotten that hockey scholarship and didn't nearly kill that guy."

"Yes, well he pissed me off."

"Whatever, Mommy."

Jason rolls his eyes and we set off once I put on my Muggs.

Mom had to come down and sign a bunch of stuff.

You know, it was really nice of her to come and visit.

Not.

Jason and I get in his car and we drive away.

Only too bad for me, Jason drives straight into the school parking lot.

"No, no, no," I say, shaking my head. "No school."

"Yes. School," Jason says and shoves my backpack at me.

"I can't." I cough. "Oh, no, I think I'm coming down with something again."

"No, you're not."

"Well I can't go to school… Because I don't have that… thingie."

"I put everything school-related into this backpack."

"No, but you didn't put that one thingie in there."

"What thingie?"

"You know… the thingie. The thingie I need… for… math."

"A calculator?"

"Yes. That's exactly the thing I don't have. Well, no point in going to school if I don't have a calculator."

"I bought you a calculator yesterday."

"Yeah, but it's not in my backpack."

"Yes it is. I put it in there last night."

"I hate you so much…" I sling my backpack over my shoulder and slam the car door without saying 'bye' and I head straight to my first period class.

First period started thirty minutes ago – another good reason not to go to school today.

When I walk into my class, Ms. Tranny stops talking about mitosis (or whatever the hell she was rambling on about) and says, "Where were you? Do you have a pass?"

I shake my head and say, "No. I almost died. I think that's a good enough excuse." She gives me a weird look and I just go sit down.

When I sit down, my lab partner turns to me. "So did you have a nice weekend?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Why?"

"I was sick."

"Dude, my weekend was awesome."

"Mmm hmm…"

"Yeah I went to this party. It was amazing."

"Whose party?"

"Uh… your brother's."

"Oh."

Awkward.

It's awkward because my lab partner's a real creeper/stoner/pervert and he was at my house.

"Yeah. It was so cool. Except for when the coppers showed up."

I huff. "Everyone is talking about this raving party with cops, but I don't remember any of it! And I was there! Hell, I live there!"

"Did you drink the orange juice?"

"Um… yes."

"Mmm hmm, that's why."

"That's why what?"

"That's why you don't remember. Some chick spiked it with X."

"What!?"

"Yeah. I drank it. It was awesome. I was all like… whoa."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"No, dude. Not kidding you. It was radical."

"No, are you kidding me about the X thing? Because I drank it, got accused of being a druggie, and got horribly sick. And I don't remember ever doing drugs. Do you know who put it in there?"

"Yeah."

"Who? Tell me!"

"Mitchie Torres."

"Oh. My. Fucking. God. That little bitch!"

"Dude, don't hate her. She made the party bitchin'."

"She almost killed me!"

"Good lord, you didn't drink enough of it to kill yourself."

"And how do you know?"

"Because I watched you drink it."

"You watched me drink it and didn't even bother to stop me?"

"Well you were being a party pooper. I thought maybe if you drank some you'd be the life of the party."

"But I was sick! Do you know how dangerous that was for me to – oh my god, you know what? I don't want to talk to you any more; you're making me hate life even more than I already do with every word you say." I take all my stuff and move to the seat in the back.

I so should have stayed home.

**A\N: Hey, you may be wondering why it's in two parts. Long story. And I kinda don't want to tell you because it involves me living near George Bush and something about my mum saying, "Claire, what if you're in a parking lot and your boyfriend attacks you and rapes you? Then what do you do?" I don't know what that has to do why my chapter 8 is in two parts, but it is very important on the matter. Long story. **


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

The day seemed to go by way too slowly. I kept replaying the conversation I had with my lab partner in Tranny's class throughout the whole day. I didn't do any of my work.

I did, however, end up with three kilos of make up work. For missing one day. It's ridiculous how much work you get in high school.

When I get home, I plop down on the couch, exhausted.

Jason just sighs when I sit down.

"What's your problem?" I ask.

"I miss Penelope…"

"I miss not having to go to school…"

Jason turns to me. "If you help me, I'll help you."

I raise my eyebrows. "What's in it for me?"

"I'll let you skip school tomorrow."

"Hm… sounds good. What do I have to do?"

"Hurt yourself."

I stare at him for a second. "What kind of sick, twisted person are you?"

"No, not like… hurt yourself… but… get hurt."

"That makes no sense what so ever."

Jason goes up really close to me and whispers, "I _need_ her."

"Who do you need?" I ask.

"Penelope…"

"You _need_ Doctor Hilary Duff?"

"Yes. I am on Doctor Hilary Duff withdrawl. And I _need_ her."

"So let me get this straight. You want me to get hurt so you can call her and flirt with her some more."

"Yes."

"Who are you?!" I get up from the couch and start to walk away.

Only too bad for me, my cat leaps off of the staircase and lands right on my head! Then, I run, only to trip over a skateboard. I scream and tumble down to the ground. I scream and cry out in pain.

"You set that up!" I yell to Jason.

Jason comes running over to me. "Nate, what the hell was that!?"

I roll over on my back. "Ahh! I hurt my ankle!"

"Good lord, Nate, you're a klutz. Now get up." Jason reaches out and helps me back up.

When I stand up, I nearly collapse when I put weight on my ankle. "Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"What's wrong?" Jason asks.

"I hurt my kankle, Jason!"

"Your _kankle_?"

"Yes. I broke my kankle."

"I'm sure it's fine. Go sit on the couch."

"Yeah… I _would_ go over to the couch _if I could walk_. That was a very clever trick of yours, Jason."

"What? What'd I do?"

"You evilly put the cat there to jump on me, causing me to run blindly, causing me to trip over a skateboard, causing me to fall and break my kankle so you can be with Hilary Duff."

"Yes. I planned that all out. Because I'm out to get you," Jason replies sarcastically.

"Hey, you said it yourself. You want me to get hurt so you can be with dear Penelope."

"Well I didn't… I didn't mean it."

"You so meant it, Jason."

"I'll go call Dr. Schneider." Jason sets off.

"Yeah! That's what you wanted all along, wasn't it? You just wanted to be with your little… cuddle bunny."

I sit on the floor for the longest time, and then the doorbell rings. My cat, Buster, scampers past me when Jason opens the door, letting his cuddle bunny inside.

Doctor Hilary Cuddle Bunny Duff comes right over to me. "One day out of the hospital and you're already hurt again."

I let out a huff of laughter. "Call me danger." I shoot a glance at Jason, who just shrugs.

"So, Penelope, would like a cup of tea?" Jason asks.

I point to my kankle. "Can we focus on the important thing here?"

"What'd you get yourself into this time, Nate?" Cuddle Bunny says, a hint of amusement in her voice, and sits down next to me.

"I tripped and fell and hurt my kankle. And I blame Jason."

Doctor Hilary Duff laughs and turns to Jason. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing," Jason says. "It was the cat's fault."

X X X

About an hour later and my kankle is nicely wrapped up in bandages. I took a few painkillers and so I'm not dying. But I am, however, getting around with crutches.

Oh, and Cuddle Bunny is staying over for dinner.

Dinner.

Dinner with Doctor Cuddle Bunny.

It sickens me, really, to see Jason flirting with CB, only CB is completely blind to what's going on.

CB and I are sitting on the couch watching the newest episode of House. Apparently, CB's favourite show is House.

Jason leaves the kitchen for a moment just in time to hear CB say, "Oh, I _love_ House!"

"House is my favourite show!" Jason says, walking into the living room.

"No it isn't," I scoff. "You _hate_ House."

Jason starts laughing and pats me on the head. "Are you kidding me? I love this show! Silly boy!"

And then CB laughs.

Good god.

Jason goes back to make a nice romantic dinner for me and his cuddle bunny, and CB and I continue watching House, which is Jason's least favourite show of all time.

I'll tell you what, sitting on a couch with your doctor/soon-to-be-sister-in-law is pretty awkward.

But finally, Jason is finished making the romantic dinner for three, and CB and I go into the kitchen.

There are candles. On the table. The lights are dim.

I think I just threw up a bit.

I sit down, anyway, and tap my fingers on the table in that annoying way a bunch of snobby rich girls do with their fresh manicures.

Jason puts a bowl of bow-tie pasta and a plate of Caesar salad in front of me.

I feel like we're at Maggiano's, my favourite Italian restaurant. The atmosphere is so perfect for it.

I start stabbing my salad with my fork, but Jason and CB glare at me. I stop and look up at them, completely confused. "What?"

"We haven't said Grace yet, Nate. That's so rude to our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ," Jason says with all the seriousness in the world.

I stare at him for a bit and burst out laughing.

I love how he's pretending to be Christian just because his cuddle bunny is one of those extremists.

I clear my throat. "Ahem. Yes. I'm sorry… uh, Jesus." It took all my will power not to burst out laughing.

Then we do this weird thing where we all hold hands and close our eyes.

"Dear God, thank you so much for blessing us with this meal," Jason starts.

Ah, yes. My brother, Jason, the hard-core Atheist, saying a dinnertime prayer.

"Amen," both Jason and CB say after Jason finishes his fake little prayer.

When I stay silent, they both glare at me.

"Uh… yeah…" I point to Jason and his cuddle bunny. "What they said. Can I eat now? I'm starving."

"Yes, Nate. Now you can eat," Jason tells me.

I resume stabbing my salad with my fork.

That was when the worst thing in the world that could ever have happened happened.

You know that weird thing where you slam your fist down on a fork's prongs and it goes flying. Well I did that. And the fork went flying.

And it landed right in Hilary Duff's wine glass, tipping it over, spilling all over her white dead-animal fur coat.

I think it was bunny fur.

Sad, really. Who would kill poor innocent, white bunnies?

That's when Cuddle Bunny flips a shit.

She gasps and stands up. "Nate! How could you?! Do you know how much this cost? I got it from my husband for Christmas!"

And that's when Jason and I freeze.

No, not because it was expensive. Or made out of dead animals. Or because she got it for a Christian holiday.

But because she had a husband.

Jason was the first to mutter out some phrases. "Y-you're m-m-married?"

Hilary Duff nods. "Yes, I do."

And Jason's jaw drops. "Well, SHIT." He slams his fist down on the table. "Damn it!" and then he lets out a long string of swear words while stomping upstairs.

Cuddle Bunny turns to me. "What was that all about?"

I laugh. "You didn't notice?"

"Notice what?"

"That you were his cuddle bunny?"

"His cuddle bunny?"

"Dude, he _loved_ you. He pretended to be Christian for you. That's love right there." I shake my head and do that weird _tisk, tisk_ thing.

"What?"

"Says you look just like Hilary Duff," I continue. "He told me to hurt myself so he could call you and flirt with you some more."

"He did _what?_"

I shake my head. "Dude… You just ripped his heart in half. He'll never love again. And it's all your fault."

And then I hobble away in a very dramatic way.

Only I trip and fall flat on my face.

And I break my nose.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10**

**25.12.08**

I have been dubbed by Cuddle Bear herself: "Danger."

Now, not only do I have an amazing ankle brace type device, but I also have a nose cast. I look like I just got mugged.

Which is just the cherry on top of a _perfect_ evening.

Right now I'm sitting on my bed writing a new poem about darkness and despair. Which is basically what I'm feeling like right now.

Jason is in his room doing everything he can to get over Cuddle Bear, I think Mom went to go live in a hotel, Shane is… hell if I know, and I am here.

I am here writing.

So why am I up at one fifty in the morning on a school night?

Because I've decided to become home schooled.

Jason will teach me at home because there is just too much drama that comes with the whole high school experience.

I just have yet to tell Jason he's my new teacher.

I plan on staying up all night.

With Jason as my new teacher, I will study, read my textbooks, and do my homework… And I will not sleep until I have finished. And I'm not one bit tired.

I pick up my Biology textbook.

Okay… Chapter one. "Mitosis versus Meiosis."

I'm tired.

I throw the book across the room and turn out my lights, going to bed.

X X X

When I wake up, it's well past ten. I head downstairs and see Jason at the table, mindlessly sipping a cup of tea.

I sit down at the table with him.

Jason completely ignores my presence and stares straight ahead.

I wave my hands in front of his eyes, but he doesn't snap out of his trance.

I shrug it off and sit down on the couch and watch TV.

When four thirty comes around, Shane comes home and goes right upstairs to his room.

I am so tired of re-runs. I've memorized this show.

So I go upstairs. I knock on Shane's door. "Shane? Can I come in?"

Shane opens the door. "Yes?"

"Want to talk?" I ask.

Shane looks at me funny. "Nate, you are a weird little kid." He shuts the door in my face. Then reopens it and says, "You got something on your nose," then slams it again.

"Nice talking with you, Shane," I call to him sarcastically.

I limp over into my room and log on Facebook. No one's on.

But that's only because school.

You know what's so weird?

I kinda miss school.

Well, not the whole working part, but the whole friends part. I'm bored. This is boring.

With a sigh, I get my lazy butt dressed and walk\limp to school.

It was more of a limp.

When I walk into my French class, my teacher (who is very caring) gasps and says, "Nate, what happened to you?"

"I… got mugged," I say and sit down at a table.

The bell rings like two seconds after I sit down, so I have to hop back up and make my way through the crowded hallway all the way to English class.

Right as I enter the classroom, I see Caitlyn colouring something. I hobble right up to her and say, "Hey."

Caitlyn looks up at me and screams. "Good lord, Nate! What did you do to yourself?"

"I tripped and fell… a lot. Listen, I got to talk to you about some stuff after school. Come home with me?"

She nods. "Yeah… just try not to kill yourself from now to eighth period. Do we need to re-teach you how to walk? Because you seem to be falling a lot."

"Well, my cat jumped on my face… and I tripped on a skate board…"

"Somehow, I always knew something like that would happen to you. I told you you should have gotten a dog."

"I should practise falling so I don't get hurt so much when I do fall."

The bells rings, so I go sit down at my desk.

The rest of the day was boring.

I should have stayed home.

Right as that last bell rang, I almost flew out of my seat and limped like the wind all the way to Caitlyn's locker.

Only I got winded and had to stop for a break.

Goodness, what if I _am_ an old person?

When I finally do make it, Caitlyn has her backpack all packed and ready to go.

"Did you get hurt again?" she asks.

"Nope," I say proudly.

"Well that's good," she laughs. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."

"Okay then. Let's get a move on out of this hell hole."

"Sounds good to me."

Caitlyn and I head off out of the school building.

"Let's go the fast way," Caitlyn says and goes across the other bridge.

"Through the forest?" I ask.

She nods. "Yeah. It's faster."

"Okay I'll try my best on these crutches."

"I'll carry you if you can't get through."

"Fine."

We take a sharp left and then go off the sidewalk into the forest. It's a bit steep and I have a hard time walking through, but I make it somehow up the hill and then it starts to level out.

But as we walk, something catches my eye. I look over to my right and see a mysterious-looking black trash bag. I stop limping. "Uhh… Caitlyn, does anyone go out here for some weird reason?"

"What do you mean?" she asks, coming over to me.

I point to the bag. "Scary. Mysterious. Creepy."

"Oh, don't be silly, Nate. It's just trash."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Maybe someone was too lazy to go throw it away in a dumpster."

"Should we call nine-one-one? What if it's dangerous? Like a bomb."

"A bomb? Nate, what have you been smoking?"

"Apparently, a lot."

"Look, it's perfectly fine."

"Well, I live around here and if it's a bomb, I don't want to die."

"Nate, you're silly," Caitlyn says. "Look."

Then she kicks the bag.

And just like a scene out of a horror movie, something rolls out of it.

And it wasn't trash, I'll tell you that.

It was a skull.

A human skull.

As in a dead body was in the bag – well, the remains of a dead body.

Caitlyn and I both scream as louder than we've ever screamed before and we start running. Only I trip and roll down the hill a bit, so Caitlyn grabs me, pulls me up, and drags me out of the forest as fast as we could possibly go.

We continue screaming all the way back to my house and right as we get inside, we lock the door and stand there, spooked to death, trying to catch our breath.

I look down and see that my leg's bleeding. I must have cut it on something. "Oh my god!"

Caitlyn looks over at me. "Yeah. That was fucking creepy."

"No, I cut my leg. What if I get some mad incurable disease from that… dead person?"

She ignores my cut. "We have to call the cops. That was the freakiest thing that's ever happened in my life. You do realize I'm going to have nightmares forever and ever right?"

"Me too," I say and we both walk\limp into the kitchen.

Caitlyn calls the cops and tells them what happened.

Only while she was talking to them, there was a knock on the door.

"IT'S THE DEAD GUY!" I scream. "He wants his head back and now he's coming to get us!"

"Nate, go answer the door!" Caitlyn says to me.

"No!" I call out. "If it's the dead guy, I don't want to die!"

"Get it, you pussy!"

I gulp and hesitantly walk over to the door. I close my eyes and grab an umbrella that was by the door. I unlock the door and open it, swatting the dead guy with the umbrella, screaming.

"Nate, what the hell!?" I hear a voice.

I open my eyes and see Shane standing there, trying to protect himself from my umbrella of doom.

"I'm sorry; I thought you were the dead guy that was coming to get us!" I defend, putting the umbrella down. I hug him. "I'm so glad it's just you!"

Shane pushes me away from him. "Get off me, you freak. And what dead guy?"

"Caitlyn and I found a dead body in the forest!" I tell him frantically.

He looks at me like I should be in a mental institute. "Um…. Okay." He walks upstairs.

I let out an exasperated sigh and walk into the kitchen. I see Caitlyn sitting at the table, sipping an ice tea. She looks up at me. "They said they'd send someone out to get it."

"Okay," I say and sit down at the table.

Caitlyn stares straight ahead kind of like Jason did this morning.

"Well then," I say, breaking the awkward silence.

"I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight," she says.

"Me neither."

We sit there a bit and then Caitlyn says, "So why did you want me to come over? You said you wanted to talk about something?"

I nod. "We have to go upstairs to talk about it, though," I say, standing up.

Caitlyn and I go upstairs and sit down on my bed.

"So…" she trails off.

"So, here's the thing," I say. "Shane had this house party Saturday night."

"And?"

"And… I did drugs at said party."

Caitlyn gawks at me. "Really?"

I slowly nod.

"Wow, Nate. I never thought that'd you'd have the balls to do drugs. What'd you take?"

"Ecstasy. And I didn't take it voluntarily. Mitchie, you know, Shane's girlfriend, spiked the orange juice."

"Well," Caitlyn says, patting me on the back. "Good job."

"Good job? I thought you'd be mad! You're the first person I told."

"No, good job getting stoned."

"How is this a good thing?"

"It's not. I think it's funny."

"It's not funny."

"Sure it is. Think about it. You drank some harmless orange juice and what happened?"

"I went to the hospital when my fever spiked?"

"Exactly. That's why it's funny."

"You're a sick, cruel person. You know that, right?"

"Yes, well you're a paranoid old person."

"Not an old person!"

"Yes you are. Now tell me more about this party."

"Well… there were like a ton of people."

"And how did Shane get away with this with Jason here?"

"No, Jason was in Saskatchewan."

"I see now. Go on…"

"Well they did a bunch of drugs – Shane was selling them. And… That's about all I can recall. I only remember getting up one time to get orange juice and that's it."

"Well then how'd you find out about the ecstasy if all you remember is drinking orange juice?"

"My lab partner was there and he told me everything."

"Oh. Wow."

"And when I was at the hospital Doctor Cuddle Bunny confronted me about it, and I had no idea what she was talking about… but now I know."

"Wait. Who's Doctor Cuddle Bunny?"

"Never mind."

Then the door flies open and I see Jason standing there, looking horrified.

"Jason!" I exclaim, startled.

"Is all of this true?" he asks, disbelievingly.

I bite my lip. "Um… maybe."

Jason narrows his eyes and then slams my door, yelling, "Shane!"

"This could be messy," I trail off.

Caitlyn hops off my bed. "Let's go watch."

"Caitlyn!" I scold. "That's not very nice!"

"Aww, come on! It will be just like watching hockey, only Shane isn't wearing protective gear and they're not on ice." Caitlyn opens my door and we go out, only to see Jason attempting to kick Shane's door down.

"Shane Adam Gray, you get out here right now!" Jason yells, kicking the door.

Why does this look so familiar?

"No!" Shane says from behind his locked door.

"Shane, how dare you have a house party with drugs and alcohol?" Jason asks him rather harshly.

"Who told you!?"

"I find things out. Now open the door!"

There is no reply from Shane.

Jason kicks the door one last time, and I guess he must have hit it really hard, because it flies open and Jason goes in there. "Where are you, Shane?"

Caitlyn and I cautiously go into the room. Jason is looking for Shane, and I see that the window is open.

I point to the window. "Jason. Window."

Jason turns around and goes over to the window, calling out of it. "Goddamn it, Shane!" Jason then crawls out of the window and onto the tree near Shane's window. Caitlyn and I watch in awe as Jason climbs down the tree like Spiderman and he runs over to Shane, who was lying down in the grass, as if he were waiting to be killed.

We both watch as Jason grabs Shane and picks him up.

Shane then screams. "Ow! Ow!"

"There's gonna be more where that came from," Jason growls, grabbing Shane by his hair and pulling him away.

"Bloody murder!" Shane yelps out. "Jason, stop! Goddamn it!"

"Shane, you are in so much trouble, it's ridiculous!" Jason yells.

"No, I fell out the window and hurt my arm!" Shane tells him.

Caitlyn turns to me. "This is getting juicy."

I nod and keep watching.

"And why should I believe you?" Jason asks, dragging Shane by his hair again.

"Because I'm not a bad person!" Shane says, trying to hop on one foot.

"Yes you are! You are, Shane!"

"Well stop dragging me; you're gonna kill me!"

"You're already dead in my eyes!"

Caitlyn turns to me, her mouth wide open. "Wow…"

"Yeah… Now that you've seen that, welcome to the house of the Gray family – the most fucked up family in the world." I sigh and close the window.

"Oh, come on. You're not that fucked up."

"Yes. Yes we are. We don't have a dad. Our mom doesn't even acknowledge that we exist, my brother is a drug dealer, and my older brother is hopelessly romantic. Face it, we're the most fucked there ever could be."

Caitlyn stands there, sorrow in her eyes, and then when we hear Shane screaming, "Bloody fucking hell!" we both turn around and see Jason dragging Shane into the room, throwing him down on the bed.

"Look, Jason," Shane says, "I think I really hurt myself falling two stories like that."

"I can't trust you anymore, Shane," Jason says. He shakes his head in disappointment.

"Jason, I didn't do drugs! I swear!"

"You're a liar! A dirty, filthy liar!"

"Why won't you trust me? And OW. Can I please get some Advil for my arm?"

Jason shakes his head. "You're not actually hurt. You're a liar!"

"Goddamn, Jason, you've got to believe me! I didn't intentionally do drugs!"

"What do you mean by 'didn't intentionally do drugs'?"

"I mean Mitchie spiked the punch and Nate and I drank it!"

"I thought it was orange juice! Liar!"

"Just because I get the drinks wrong doesn't mean I'm a liar!"

"Yes it does! How else would you not know what actually happened?"

"Oh my god, it's just a name of a drink! Shut the fuck up!"

Jason yells in rage and slams his fist down on the bed, storming out of the room.

Caitlyn and I look at each other when it gets silent.

Then Shane ruins the silence by whispering, "Ow, mother fucker!"

I go over to him. "You really did hurt yourself, didn't you?"

Shane nods. "Yeah. Please for the love of all things holy, go get me the Advil."

I decide to be nice and I get three pills from his bathroom and a cup of water.

"Thanks," Shane says, gratefully taking the pills. He swallows all three of them without the water. "Now get the hell out of here."

Caitlyn and I shrug and leave his room, closing the door behind him.

Only right when we leave, I hear someone crying.

I walk over to Jason's room and knock on the door, opening it. "Jason?"

Jason looks up at me and stops crying. "Yes?" He wipes his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

He nods. "I'm fine… just… leave me alone."

And then he goes off again with the sobs.

I slowly back out of the room and close the door, turning to Caitlyn.

Caitlyn frowns. "Wow, your family really is fucked up."


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11**

**25.12.08**

For the remainder of the night, Caitlyn and I stayed in my room, talking and doing homework.

It took us about three hours to do just two workbook pages because we were talking so much and kept getting distracted by the TV. (We were watching House, in case you were interested.)

When we finally finished, we watched House for a bit until Jason came in my room and told us that dinner was ready.

We walk down the stairs and see Shane sitting there, looking very pissed off I might add, and looking straight ahead at the wall.

Someone has their grumpy face on.

Caitlyn and I sit down at the table and Jason gives us both some bowls of Mac and cheese.

Shane stares down at his bowl while the rest of us start eating.

"Eat your food," Jason tells him.

"I don't like your goddamn Mac and cheese," he sneers, pushing it away from him.

"Fine. You'll go to bed hungry," Jason says matter-of-factly.

I hate all this passive-aggressive fighting.

"No I won't. We have food here." Shane stands up and grabs a bag of candy, munching on some of those mini chocolate bars.

Jason stands up and takes the bag from him. "You are not going to eat candy for dinner, got that?"

Shane scoffs and sits down at the table. He twirls the Mac and cheese around for a bit and then when Jason wasn't looking, pushes the bowl off the table and it shatters into a billion pieces. "Oops," he says sarcastically and gets the candy bag again.

Jason narrows his eyes at Shane. "Don't make me kill you."

Shane rolls his eyes and walks upstairs with the bag of candy.

Jason sighs and slams his head down on the table. Then he rubs his forehead, saying, "Ow…"

Caitlyn and I exchange glances.

I continue eating my Mac and cheese.

Could this be any more awkward?

These awkward dinner silences could kill.

Caitlyn starts coughing like a maniac and Jason and I look over at her.

"Sorry," she says. "I just choked on air."

We all look down at our bowls and continue eating.

"Well," I say. "This is painfully awkward."

I finished my meal, so I put the empty bowl in the sink and Caitlyn does the same.

"Anyway… we'll be upstairs if you need us," I tell Jason.

Jason just stares straight ahead like a zombie.

We both look at him. I nudge Caitlyn a bit and we both go upstairs, back into my room.

Right as we get in there, Caitlyn groans. "Wow that was the longest twenty minutes of my life!"

I nod. "Yeah."

She logs onto my computer. "Let's listen to some music." Caitlyn turns on some music and then hops in my bed. "Come," she tells me.

I snap out of my trance. "Huh?"

"Come cuddle with me," she says, smiling.

"Okay." I walk over to the bed and hop under the covers with her.

Caitlyn wraps her arms around me. "I'm so sorry about your fucked up family."

"Well it's not your fault," I say. "I blame my dad."

"Why?"

"Because he's the one who fucked us up."

"How?" she asks, scooting close to me. She rests her head on my stomach. "Tell me."

"Look, I really don't want to talk about it."

Caitlyn frowns. "If you never talk about it, then you'll never get it off your chest."

I close my eyes. "He was an alcoholic."

She doesn't say anything."

"Say something," I say.

"There's nothing to say."

"What do you mean?

"I mean there's nothing to say."

"Well you have to say something. I can't just say that and then there be an awkward silence."

"Okay… I'll say something: take off your shirt."

I raise my eye brows, but then I see Caitlyn taking off hers, so I do the same.

I gawk at her.

"Stop staring," she says.

"I can't help it that you're beautiful."

"Tell your eyes to stop staring at my boobs."

"Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes."

Caitlyn pulls the covers over her head, so I go underneath them with her. "So on with the story," she says.

I hesitantly continue. "So… he drank a lot of alcohol."

"I kinda figured that out at 'he was an alcoholic.'"

"Well he was kinda… violent."

"How so?"

"He would hit Jason."

"What? Why?"

"Because whenever Jason didn't win a hockey match, he would get drunk and get mad."

"Did he ever hurt you?"

"No. But then Jason started drinking, also, and he got violent."

"Wait, did Jason hurt you?"

"No, Jason never hurt me. He hurt other people."

"Like who?"

"Like Shane."

"Like why?"

"Like why does it matter?"

"Like because I care."

"Stop saying like."

"Fine."

"Anyway… so Jason would get really pissed at Shane because he was always a trouble maker. I mean, he was a pretty happy child, but he would always pull pranks on people and get in trouble. A lot."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Oh. Continue."

"So one day, Jason had too much to drink before a hockey tournament and he got in a fight with someone on the other team."

"But hockey is all about getting in fights."

"I know, but when you nearly kill the other guy and knock him down to the ground and make him become blind, it becomes a different story."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. So Jason got kicked out of hockey."

"Then what?"

"Well he had to quit the team he was on."

"I got that with 'kicked out of hockey.'"

"And Dad got so-o-o pissed."

"What happened?"

"Why am I telling you all this?"

"Because I'm your girlfriend, you loon."

"Right. So when he got kicked out, my dad threw a fit. And got drunk. And hit Jason."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because Jason was the team captain for the all-Quebec hockey team!"

"HE WAS?!"

"Yeah! He was the best there was and everyone knew it! He got a hockey scholarship for practically every single college there was. But when he got kicked out, no one wanted him anymore."

"Oh. Now I see why your dad was mad."

"Well anyway, Jason and my dad had this horrible fight in the middle of the living room, which ended up with my dad hitting my mom and then he went off, got even more drunk, drove, got in a car wreck, and died."

Caitlyn's jaw drops.

"The end."

She remains silent.

I raise my eyebrows. "Say something."

"Fuck!" she exclaims. "That's awful!"

"Hey," I say with a shrug. "You wanted to know."

"And I thought my family was fucked!"

"Yeah, well that's because you've never actually met Jason before. What he did today was just a fraction of what he can do. But, it's been a year and Jason's clean now."

Caitlyn looks up at me, mournfully. "I am so, so, so sorry about everything."

"It's not your problem," I say.

She closes her eyes and places her hand on my chest.

I look at my clock. It's past eleven. "Look, it's late. You should probably head home before your mom starts to worry."

Caitlyn shakes her head. "I'm staying right here. Besides, I won't be able to sleep without you; I can't get that skull scene out of my head."

"Oh, thanks for reminding me!" I reply sarcastically.

"I can't believe you forgot about the skull thing."

"I can't believe you remembered."

Caitlyn lets out a huff of laughter. "Go to sleep. Dream of sugar plums; not scary, disgusting skulls."

I close my eyes and laugh. "Okay."

I run my fingers through her hair and I was about to fall asleep when I hear something crash downstairs.

Caitlyn and I both shoot awake and look at each other.

"What was that?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say, hopping out of the bed.

Caitlyn pulls her shirt back on and we both slowly creak open the door.

We hear more crashing and Shane screaming.

Caitlyn runs out of the room and goes downstairs. "What's going on?"

I run after her. "Caitlyn! Don't go down there!"

When we get into the kitchen, we see Shane cowering in the corner and Jason standing above him, throwing punches left and right.

"I can't believe you would do something like that!" Jason yells, kicking Shane.

"Stop it!" Shane screams.

Caitlyn runs over to them. "Jason, what are you doing?"

And that's when Jason did something I never thought he'd ever do again. He turns around and with his hand in a tight fist, hits Caitlyn. She screams and falls to the ground.

I run over to Caitlyn and help her up. She's crying.

"Jason, I can't believe you just did that!" I yell, picking Caitlyn up.

Caitlyn starts sobbing into my shoulder.

"Caitlyn, go back upstairs," I tell her.

She hugs me one last time before running upstairs.

When she's up there, I turn to Jason. "I can't believe you just hit Caitlyn!"

Jason growls and grabs a bottle of liquor off the counter, throwing it at me. He misses, but glass goes everywhere.

Shane stands up. "Jason, you're a monster!"

Jason shakes his head and grabs Shane's arm, twisting it.

Shane's eyes widen and he lets out a blood-curling scream.

"Let go of him!" I say, punching Jason.

Jason knocks me off to the side and I fall over onto the couch. Jason grabs all of the glasses from the cabinets and chucks them at the wall. He throws all of the dishes on the floor.

Tears start pouring out of Shane's eyes. "Jason, you're just like Dad! How could you hurt your own brothers?"

Jason punches the wall as hard as he could and it makes a hole in the wall. "Fuck!" he screams and kicks the wall repeatedly.

Then Jason comes over and punches me across the face harder than I would have ever guessed anyone could hit someone else.

I gasp and fall down to the ground.

He then storms out of the house, kicking the cat on his way out.

When all the commotion dies down, Shane is still leaned up against the wall, holding his injured arm close to him, and I'm still on the floor, trying to catch my breath.

Caitlyn runs over to me. "Holy shit, Nate!"

I let out a pathetic cry and Caitlyn picks me up, looking at the bruise that's formed on my left cheek. "I'll go get you some ice." She stands up and fills a plastic baggie up with ice, and then puts it on my face. I wince when the cold touches my cheek, but Caitlyn keeps it there. She turns to Shane. "You okay?"

Shane just stands up and goes upstairs.

Caitlyn looks at me. "Do we need to go to the hospital?"

I shake my head. "I'm just a little bruised… Like I fell off a bike. That's all. The real question is, are you okay?"

She nods. "Yeah. I'll live."

"Caitlyn, I'm so sorry that just happened," I whisper.

Caitlyn hugs me. "Nate, it wasn't your fault."

"I can't believe he drank again," I whisper again, quieter than before, swallowing back a sob.

"Nate…"

I shake my head. "Let's just go to bed, okay? We can sleep on it and forget it ever happened."

Caitlyn agrees silently and we slowly head back upstairs.

When we get in my room, I make sure she gets comfortable before I turn off the light and hop in myself.

Caitlyn kisses me on the cheek, which surprisingly doesn't hurt despite the fact that I was just punched there. "I love you so much."

I return the favour. "I love you too."

I wrap my arms around her and feel her breathing start to even out.

I toss and turn for about thirty minutes.

Caitlyn lifts her head up. "Nate, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I lie. "I'm just gonna go get some water."

I hop out of the bed and close the door. I go downstairs and when I see that all of the glasses are still shattered on the floor, I shake my head and forget about the water thing. I slowly head back upstairs as I'm exhausted, but then see a light on in Shane's room.

I knock on the door. "Shane?"

When I don't get an answer, I open the door and walk in. He's not in his bed or at his desk. I go into his bathroom. "Shane?" My heart races when I see Shane lying on the bathroom floor. "Shane!" I race over to him and kneel down by him. That's when I see the empty bottle of Advil by his head. I shake him. "Shane! Shane, what did you do?!"

Shane groggily opens his eyes and looks at me. "I just… I just wanted the pain to stop."

"No… Shane…"

"Nate, I'm so, so sorry."

"Shane… It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

"No," he says closing his eyes. "I told Jason everything."

"What?"

"It's all my fault, I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay. I forgive you! Just… stay here, okay?"

"Nate… It was me."

He stops talking so I shake him. "Shane… stay awake!"

Shane reopens his eyes. "I got… I got her pregnant."

"Who? Who'd you get pregnant?"

"Ella. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

"No, I forgive you. Don't go…"

"Nate… I can't. It hurts so much."

"Shane, if you die on me, I swear I'll do something rash!"

"I love you, Nate."

"No. No, no, no. You can't quit yet!"

"Tell Jason… Tell him I said I'm sorry." Shane slowly lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes.

"Shane!"

When he doesn't respond, I shake him again.

"Shane, wake up!" I smack him across the face. "Get up, you fool! You can't… you can't… Don't…" I start crying. "Don't… don't walk away."

Shane doesn't respond.

"No! Please! I'm begging you Shane, don't go! You can't leave me! Get up! You have to!" I shake my head and tears fall. "I don't… I don't want to be alone!"

When Shane doesn't say anything else, I break down in sobs and collapse. I bury my head in his chest and hit the floor with my fist repeatedly. "I don't want to be alone. Please," I beg, my words getting chopped up as I cry. "Don't…"

I put my head down on his chest, but there's no heart beat. I wrap my arms around his limp body. He's so, so cold.

And I lay there on the bathroom floor, letting my brother's shirt soak up my tears.

All alone.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

**25.12.08**

The next day, I'm sitting on my couch, eating sandwiches all alone.

Well, not all alone as Jason is passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of vodka on the floor next to him. He's snoring softly.

It's odd, really. He's so different than last night. Last night he was angry and rash. Now he's calm and sleeping.

Well, passed out, but close enough.

I sit there in silence – well, besides the soft snoring – and eat my sandwiches Caitlyn made me.

She had to go to school as she had a maths test she had to take.

Me? Well, I had the same test, but because of all that happened last night, I'm going to be staying home for a very long time, probably.

But, hey, getting beat up by your drunken brother and then have your other brother overdose and die right in front of you while telling you the biggest secret of your life is a good enough excuse for me.

Last night I cried myself to sleep while Caitlyn tried to hush me with her soothing words.

I feel bad that I kept her up all night. She must be exhausted. It was about six in the morning when I finally fell asleep. That means that Caitlyn got less than an hour of sleep.

Wow, I feel like a real asshole right now.

I turn on the TV and pop in my DVD of House.

I hear a faint moan and look over, only to see my drunken brother waking up.

"Well, good morning," I tell him through tightly clenched teeth.

"I… hate… that show," he says, turning away from the TV.

I sit there a second.

And then I get scared.

I'm all alone.

This is when I go crazy.

Fuck. I'm alone. I'm all alone.

And there's a dead person upstairs.

I flip a shit and hop up off the couch. I start pacing the floors.

Okay, no one's here. Except for my dead brother and my half-dead brother. I practically have no parents.

And I'm only fourteen.

What to do? Who do you call in a situation like this?

I look around a bit, wondering what to do, and I go over to the couch and see Jason there. I punch him as hard as I can and he jolts awake.

"What the fuck!?"

I fight back a sob as I say, "I _hate_ you so much." I slap him across the face and then grab my coat, running outside.

I don't know where I'm going or why, but I limp as fast as I can down the road.

As I'm walking in a confused rage, I see Tess Tyler herself sitting on her front porch, crying.

I stop walking and go over to her. I sit down right next to her.

Right as she realizes I sat down next to her, she turns to me. "Nate?"

I just nod and don't say anything.

"Why are you here?" she asks, trying to hide the fact that she was crying.

I sigh and lay down on my back. "Because… I am so fucked."

Tess hits me lightly on my arm. "Well go away. You're not my friend."

I sit up and turn to her. "I know we're not friends, but here you are sitting on your front porch crying your eyes out. Face it, we're both fucked."

"Excuse me, but I am not fucked. I am perfectly alright."

I let out a huff of laughter. "Says the girl sitting on her porch crying her eyes out."

"I am not crying!"

"Yeah, then how do you explain that wetness that's coming out of your eyes?"

"It's my allergies. They act up in the winter."

"Yeah. In the winter. When all the plants are dead."

She scoffs.

"Let's play a game," I say, laying back down, "called 'whose life sucks the most.' I'll win."

Tess hesitates before lying down next to me.

"You start," I say.

"I don't know how to play this game."

"All you have to do is say why your life sucks the most. Whoever's life sucks the most is the winner. I always win."

"Well," Tess starts, "I just got kicked out of my house."

"Ouch. Why?"

"Because my parents hate me."

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because I'm not as perfect as they are."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, because I can't get a record deal and I'm failing all my classes."

"Story of my life."

"Oh, and my parents always tell me I'm too fat, and that's why I can't get signed."

"Well I think you're beautiful."

"Fuck you."

"Well your life does sound like it sucks."

"Mmm hmm… Why does your life suck more than mine?"

"Because I always seem to have the worst things happen to me. Like why can't I just live my life without all these horrible things happening?"

"I ask myself that all the time. So what things make your life worse than mine?"

"Brace yourself; this may be a novel."

"Well, it's not like I don't have time."

"Okay. So first of all, last night, I found out that Shane was the one who got Ella pregnant. And slipped me some ecstasy at this rave party he had. And then Jason found out and got drunk. So then he hit all of us – us being Caitlyn, Shane, and I – and threw glasses at us. And then I go upstairs into Shane's room and find him dead with an empty bottle of painkillers next to him. He took them all, that fool."

Tess turns to me. "Wow," she breathes.

"It's almost like… I'm drowning. I'm drowning on dry land and no one's ever gonna come rescue me."

"That… wow…"

"Yup," I say, sitting up. "I win.'"

And that's when Tess says something I never thought she'd ever say. "Nate… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I made fun of you all those years. I never realized what you were going through."

"Face it," I say. "I'm so fucked beyond belief." I stand up. "Anyway, I'm gonna go home and probably get beat up by my older brother again. See you."

"It was nice talking to you," Tess says.

I give her a half smile before heading back home.

Right as I walk in the door, I go straight into the living room. I see Jason sitting on the couch with his head buried in his arms.

"The hangover headaches are the worse, eh?" I tell him.

He looks up at me, his eyes all red and puffy like he'd been crying. "Nate, I can't believe it."

"What? That drinking a gallon of vodka could give you such a migraine?"

"No," he says, and stands up. He points to the broken glass on the kitchen floor. "I can't believe that I did _that_."

"Well, you better believe it. I have a scar if you need proof."

"I am so, so, so sorry, Nate. I was just… so mad…"

"Shane told me…" I pause here to hold back some tears. "He told me to tell you he was sorry. For doing all those things."

"No. I should be apologizing to him. I shouldn't have acted that way. Where is he? I need to apologize."

"Upstairs," I say.

Jason puts his hands on my shoulders. "Nate, I love you."

"I don't know if I love you back."

Jason frowns. And he takes his hands off of me, shaking his head. He goes upstairs and I follow him.

I watch as he walks into the bathroom. I hear him gasp. "Shane!" he yells. "Shane, what did you do!?"

I go into the bathroom.

Jason is there, attempting to revive him with CPR.

"Jason. Give it up."

"No!" Jason says. "I can save him! He can't die!"

I go over and pull Jason off of him. "Jason, he's been dead for a couple of hours."

Jason looks absolutely horrified. "What are you talking about?"

"Jason, he killed himself last night."

"What? No… no, no, no, no. No, please, say it's not true! You have to be lying – you have to!"

"I'm not. I would have told you, but you ran off somewhere."

Jason stands up and shakes his head. "No, no, no, no. No! Nate, please! Tell me this is a dream!"

"Sadly, it's real."

Jason takes in and exhales shuddering breaths. "It's all… it's all my fault."

I don't want to say it, but it kinda is.

He falls down to the ground. "I am so sorry! It's all my fault! I shouldn't have done it again, Nate!" He stands up and clings onto me like one of those dead bugs on a windshield and cries. "I killed my baby brother… I can't… I can't do it anymore."

"Jason…"

"No. I can't deal with anything anymore. Please, Nate, kill me and make it look like an accident."

"Jason!" I scold.

Jason breaks down in sobs again.

"Jason, if you kill yourself, then I'll be alone."

He shakes his head. "I can't live with myself knowing what I did." Jason pushes me aside. "There has to be a knife in here somewhere…"

As horrible as that may seem, Jason's right. There probably is a knife around here.

"Jason, you can't just do that."

"Yes I can. I can and I will!" Jason crawls under the bed and looks under there.

"But if you do that, who will be here to take care of me?" I ask. "Jason, don't be selfish!"

Jason then finds a knife.

"Jason, if you kill yourself, I'll do something rash!"

He holds the knife up in the air. "Good bye, cruel world!"

He's such a drama queen…

"I love you, Nate," he says and hugs me.

"No!" I scream, grabbing his arm.

"Let go of me!" Jason yells, trying to twist away from my grip.

I let out a cry when I grab the blade of the knife and it digs into my palm. I throw it over in the corner. "You do not get to quit on me. You do not get to leave me here all alone!"

"I have to, Nate; it hurts too much."

Where the hell have I heard this before? Like Déjà-vu.

"No, no, no. You can't quit yet!"I cry. "Please! Don't go! Don't leave me like everyone else did!"

"I am so, so sorry Nate. I love you so much."

"Jason, don't you dare kill yourself!"

Jason puts the knife up to his arm.

"If you really loved me you wouldn't do it… STOP!" I start to cry. "JUST STOP IT!"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Jason yells.

He slashes vertically and falls to the ground, dropping the knife.

"No!" I scream, kneeling down next to him. "Jason, wake up! You can't… you can't… Don't…" I start crying. "Don't… don't walk away. I don't want to be alone!"

When Jason doesn't say anything back, I break down in sobs and collapse.

I put my head down on his chest, but he has no heart beat. I wrap my arms around his life-less body. It's frozen.

Everything suddenly turned cold.

My face, my fingers.

My whole body. Frozen.

I couldn't feel anything anymore. The blood that was pouring out of my open wound stopped – frozen – and I was numb.

It seemed as if time had stopped and I was the only one still moving.

"Jason, I hate you! How could you? How could you do this to me?!"

And I lay there on the bedroom floor, letting my brother's shirt soak up my tears.

But this time, I really was all alone.

Trembling, I grab the knife and hold it against my wrist.

It's so cold.

It feels like an icicle on my flesh.

Do I really want to do this?

Without even giving it a second thought, I cut all the way down my arm as quickly as I can.

_**Don't Walk Away...**_


	15. Chapter 14

**Just a quick little author's note!!**

I just wanted to thank everyone for reading my story. Yes, that was indeed the end. I seriously love each and every one of you, my readers! Virtual cookies to all!

But in other news, I have just started my own awards! You can nominate stories now! There is a link on my profile page. Don't forget to spread the word, because chances are if someone hears from you that there are awards, they'll think of you and your stories, and who know? You might just get nominated!

So don't forget!

Mucho Love-o!

Starsnuffers


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